I thank God for the gift of communication, how talking through something good or bad has the power to heal, to refocus me. It's usually not without some internal dialoge to find the courage to remember it's not just me that feels a certian way. I'm always rewarded with a comforting feeling in sharing and reading other's joys and sorrows. His light is such a comfort and a beacon in a world full of darkness.
This time of the year is very hard on my family. 3 years ago last month, my big sister and my grandpa went to go be with Jesus. Three weeks later, my step brother followed. Since then, we've lost three more grandparents ( the most recent being two months ago) and a precious beautiful niece. Lisa, my sister, would have turned 37 on the 9th of next month. I started reading a blog this morning about a mother who in the last month, lost her 5 year old little girl. Reading of the shock/ grief brought a flood of memories back. I pulled the ring of my right ring finger as I often twirl it with my thumb and think about my sister.
My room mate Amy gave this ring to me for my 30th birthday. I was so touched I remembered crying, as she paid me a very touching compliment that I'm not sure to this day I deserve of exemplifying these attributes. 14 months and 16 days later, Lisa passed away in her sleep. 3 days later, I stood over her next to my brother in law. He talked about wanting to leave something with her but knowing her boys would want some of the jewelry she wore every day. Without thinking, I took the ring off my finger and placed it on hers. When my accountability group(Amy, Debra, Michelle and Wendy) found out, they bought me a new one. They will never know how much that gesture means to me daily still. It makes me feel closer to her and that's priceless.
For those wondering, the nausea has been much worse this morning. I've been eating soy chips and drinking hot tea. I stopped a couple times this morning, fully expecting my stomach to empty. Still pretty tired and sluggish.
Anyone know how to updoad a video here? I have a great one from after small group last night. This brought such a sweet smile to all of our faces last night. Thank you Kim and David for letting us enjoy the sweet joy of your beautiful baby girl :-)
3 comments:
Your posts are such an encouragement to me! I hope you feel better soon!
I see I share a birthday. I like that you are so real when you write.
Wow...that gave me a lump in the throat! What a great example of those qualities you are. I can tell just by reading your blog.
I'm glad you found me! Long time no see, but now we can stay in touch through blog world! :o)
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