Good-bye Prentice

I coped this from the Prestoncrest website:

At 6:08 am Tuesday morning, surrounded by his wife and family, Prentice Meador, former Senior Minister at Prestoncrest, passed away, finishing the race and entering into the arms of Jesus.

We mourn with the Meador family and ask for your continued prayers for his wife Barbara and their family.

Visitation is scheduled for Friday, Nov. 28, 3-6 p.m. at Swang Chapel on the Lipscomb University campus in Nashville. A celebration service will be held Saturday, Nov. 29, in the Collins Auditorium on the Lipscomb campus.

Prestoncrest will be hosting a celebration of life service here at our building at 2:00 pm on Saturday, November 29th. We are planning to show the celebration of life service of Dr. Prentice Meador from the Collins Alumni auditorium on the Lipscomb University campus as it will be braodcast via streaming from Lipscomb.

In addition to the live streaming of the celebration of life service we will provide everyone who wishes the opportunity to write a special note to the Meador family. All the notes collected from Saturday will be sent to the family in Nashville.

This live streamed celebration of life service is open to all of our members as well as those who knew Prentice from our community. We are expecting a large number of people so please make sure to arrive early.

In a nut shell

On a less existential level, I have several opinions of what has gone on in my little spot of the world over the last 6 weeks. I wanted to record that here to see what God does with these views in the future. I'm sure God's not finished working on my heart in the areas of adoption, divorce or politics. I find myself lately doing what I didn't want to with this blog and that is altering how I express my thoughts here out of self protection (i.e. what are people going to think?).

I ask forgiveness ahead of time if my views step on any toes. While I believe truth is foundationaly important, I also believe we should not hurt others with our view of it. I'm open to other's views and this is not in any way trying to convince anyone to see these issues the same way that I do. Please also refer to the Differences and Change entries before continuing. I know many people have moved on from these issues and this is old news. I have always had an analytical personality. Things stay with me longer.

On our lost adoption opportunity....This is not our second choice. What ever child will be our natural/ real child. I know I've said I don't want our child to feel like a consolation prize, but going a step further I want them to know God chose for them to be in our home. Which doesn't take away the love their birth family has for them. While God has given us the gift of choice via adoption, I believe that should not be abused. God will place on our mutual hearts which child He intends for us to raise. I admit to having to catch up to His timing on this issue very slowly and still continue to work it out in my heart and mind. Even this morning I got a call about a possible child, we remain cautious and prayerful for this situation.

On divorce.... I believe first that God did not leave His word behind to hurt other people. Our entire relationship with God is summed up in love God and love our neighbors. We are to love everyone, whether we agree with them or would do the same in their position or not. I dare to debunk the myth that divorce takes two people. Divorce can happen to someone. It takes two people to enter in to a relationship and one person to decide they do not want to continue the relationship. If you've dated, you know this is true. The person being broken up with is left to accept, catch up, make peace and move forward. You can't convince someone to stay where they don't want to be. Commitment, not romantic sentimentality, chemistry or passion, holds a relationship together. No person is without mistakes or sin in their life. It requires unconditional love on both parts for two people to come together and stay together successfully. We are not made to be carbon copies of each other. I do not believe this is a salvation issue or something not forgiven by God. I know in my childhood I was not as understanding of how complicated and painful this is. I do not believe anyone should have to walk around with a scarlet "D" on their chest irregardless of the circumstances. The harsh judgment of someone and not looking at the heart of a person adds additional wounds. I also would not seek guidance from someone that did not honor marriage and the convenant that comes with it.

On the election... Did my guy win? No. Do I believe God works through everyone? Yes. There are Godly traits on both sides. Charity and helping the poor is definitely a Godly trait. As our president elect stated, "a recognition that wisdom is not the monopoly of any one party." We can all learn from each other regardless of age or political affiliation.

All that to say I am thankful to live in a country where I can share my views. I'm thankful for God's perfect timing in adoption. I'm thankful for a forgiveness, compassion and acceptance He provides of all of my sins, past, present and future. I'm thankful for the love, respect and commitment my husband has for me and our marriage and I don't take that lightly. I'm thankful that He is always has a plan for this country. I'm thankful after the last few years of losing so many family memebers to death for those remaining that I'm able to see tomorrow.

On a sweeter and happier part of the nut shell. I'm using bunches of the pecans my MIL left when she was here last month. I made a caramel chocolate pecan cheesecake on Monday and last night a pecan pie. Both gluten free and both for the first time. I'm looking forward to cooking a cornish game hen, biscuits (thank you for the gluten free recipe, Sarah!) , green bean casserole, yams and deviled eggs tonight and in to Thursday morning. I hope everyone has a wonderful day of being surrounded by loved ones. My prayers go out to Elaine , Tommy & Kristine's and Prentice's family and others celebrating the first one without them here on earth. We miss my siblings, Lisa & Alan, my grandparents by blood and marriage: Mamaw, Papaw, Granny Ione, Granny and Grandad Price, Beverly and my sweet niece Angel.

I'll have fun food and family pics later. Happy Thanksgiving!

Change

In the middle of working out our difference, change occurs. God doesn't leave us where we are at. He has the heart to accept us unconditionally where we are, but won't leave us there. During last Sunday morning's sermon wrapping up the life of Joseph I saw where he went from bragging little brother to humble servant-leader. As a teenager I was rather full of myself. Most teenagers I know have that 'I can conquer the world' perspective, change anyone and everything. Maybe we all need that bravado at that age to not be overwhelmed by what is out there. I've recently reconnected with many from high school via Facebook. I graduated in a class of 500+ people. The main thing in common was geography. It's been interesting and fun to see who majored in what, moved where and what they are doing now. Reconciling that with what was known as a teenager and back in to childhood.

'Change is hard' is an understatement unless you are as someone wisely said this last week, consistently and extremely flexible. We want to be left alone at times to adjust, to bury in and stay in the warm comfort of the known. I often hear the phrase, they've never been the same since. In as much as almost no one sidesteps tragedy forever, when it happens we have to ask ourselves now what? Do I want my character, personality and decision making to be based out of any one earthly event? What if that event is negative and hurtful? Does that one event get to define my worth, my capabilities or my future?

Should I be able to tell when someone is struggling through life's events? Finding a safe compassionate friend who will listen and pray, but not worry or burden themselves with trying to fix what ever is happening. I don't want to set on anyone a burden. Already so heavy in my spirit that the hurt and anger plays out in everyday life, I pick a handful of trusted prayerful compassionate friends who accept me and know me flaws and all. They walk with me, not taking it from me, not patting me on the hand with any single phrase and it helps. The past can eat away at any sense of peace. Only the ugliness of the heart is left with accusations, mistrust and a will to control everything around. An urge to place blame to share and expend the hurt outside to the world around. When heart shattering hurts occur we can carry around a strong desire to be understood more than to try to understand. To rely too heavily on what others think of us. To allow ourselves to be defined by other's viewpoints and actions. Victimizing ourselves over and over in our own minds allowing that event further control far beyond the past to the present and in to the future. Our self pity blocking us from believing we can be or do something positive. These kinds of hurt can paralyze us in to long term survival mode. This paralysis effectively corking the flow of generosity, empathy, selflessness and compromise. We can believe that no one really understands or would still respect or love me if they knew.

Tenacity and perseverance through understanding healing is more of a marathon, not a sprint. I selfishly don't want the hurt necessary for true heart growth but warring in my heart is my desire for maturity. We all change, continuing to learn throughout life. We have to give ourselves and each other the benefit of the doubt that when we learn better, we do better. We are all selfish at heart. Only God can help us see part our own self entitlement and unrealistic expectations. Growth requires strength and vulnerability. The ability to NOT harden our hearts, not to listen to those vows we made to protect our innermost spots at the point when we are aching the most. Feelings are deceitful and can not be the predominant factor is making decisions. Self-control, personal accountability and integrity are essential. We all change, the question we ask ourselves is, will I be better or bitter?

We aren't made to be stoic islands bucking up to life by ourselves. How high have we constructed the barriers of image? Control? Perfectionism? Competition? As women our sisters instead of allowing them in so they can help us, we are comparing and competing. We HAVE to have the courage to reveal our real selves, small portions at a time if necessary to build trust. Shared activities and time together build amazing relationships. With equal amounts of disclosure and vulnerability. Of course it's not without risk, but nothing worth building doesn't have some. Fellow female friends hold such a treasure of comfort, empathy and strength. We have to set aside the idea that each other has it all together, that so-and-so never gets upset, angry, has a dirty house, raises their voice, a hair out of place, etc... We are all just women doing the best we can and have so much power in our collective gathering.

So should you be able to tell what I've going through by my actions? I think so

Debra

My old room mate, Ukraine missionary buddy, caring wonderful sweet friend Debra just went in to middle fossa surgery for her brain tumors, please keep her in your prayers.
Read the latest update now by using this link: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/debraatchison

Outings & Projects

After spending most of the week not feeling very well, it was so great to get out and have fun. I exhausted myself by Saturday night. So I'm sooo sorry Kristen, I didn't make the shower. I'm really looking forward to holding sweet Joelle :-)
Friday night was our Sunday morning bible class, girls night out. The guys went out to dinner and a movie. We girls had some fun with treats, games and lots of great talking. Thank you Jamie for hosting, it was a great idea!!



Saturday morning I took our sweet friends to the airport, Debra is having surgery tomorrow morning to remove tumors, if you want to stay up to date, here's the link: www.caringbridge.com/visit/debraatchison

Since I was half way to Fort Worth anyway, I saw my family, wonderful day seeing almost everyone :-) My dad and step-mom were off taking care of my dad's dad and have been for several months. It's very sweet to see how they love him regardless of the tole it takes on them. Here is one niece and two of my nephews...



While I was in the area, saw my old high school. It's been torn down and a new RHS is taking it's place. The picture was taken by my helpful passenger:

My family shared some wonderful things with me that I want to make note of. These are pictures of my dad's mom and step-dad with my oldest sister. These pictures are treasures as all of these precious loved ones have passed away. There are tons more and I'm so honored to have been entrusted with these priceless memories.

This glider was also my sister Lisa's. She rocked all of her boys to sleep in this starting with the 16 year old who is now 6'5" *gulp* I'm going to reupholster and stain it to match the crib we have for the nursery.

My mom made this doll house when she was my age. I felt like a little girl receiving this gift. I can't wait to play with it!!! It will go in the nursery as well for decoration.



That night Billy and I met up at the Taylor's house to help celebrate the unveiling of a project that was being done for them:



While I was in Fort Worth, my sweet husband did several projects around the house that I appreciate very much! He extended shelves and tonight he installed the peephole on the door. He'll paint them out later. I am very happy about the peephole in order to see who is at my door before I open it:

Prayers

It's been a busy week. Friday we spent a great evening with Sarah and Ben. We had dinner and salvaged our pride by having a wii match :-) Saturday, Rachel spent the afternoon with us, so her mommy and daddy could attend a wedding. She loves stairs, so Billy did this a whole lot:
We also used a sweet little table her mommy and daddy gave us for her to color, paint and after cleaning off, eat at. She enjoyed!

That night we had a sweet evening with some great friends praying. Please keep Debra in your prayers as she has brain surgery this week for her tumors. Also, Nathan's scans came back and his thyroid cancer is back. He'll be taking radiation pills. We missed Wendy and David, but giving birth to Emily was a great reason to miss!! Can't wait to hold her :-)




We love you Debra!
The quilts came out :-) Love sharing this hobby with Brooke and Debra!

Since then I've had this stomach bug that's been going around. I'm still not 100% but functional, but a bit better every day. Now back to uploading pics for my free snapfish book. If you read this before Friday afternoon, go to oprah.com and get yours :-)

Looking forward to a fun girls night tomorrow with our Sunday bible class. Saturday off to take friends to the airport, a day with my family and an evening with some sweet friends for an unveiling of a project that's being filmed for tv. Sunday I'm hoping to get back to Fort Worth between morning service and evening small group for a sweet friend's baby shower. Here's hoping I can make it all !!

Differences

Differences are an every day part of life. Whether it's political, religious in our friendships or romantic relationships. No two people can and do agree on everything. Within my most personal relationship with Billy we have different ways of handling stress and change. We can use our different strengths as an asset or a liability. Showing kindness, respect, forgiveness and giving them the benefit of the doubt should apply whether it's my husband, the stranger out there that cut me off, the fellow believer at church that interprets a scripture differently or the coworker who voted for the other guy.

Irregardless of the issue I believe it's the way we communicate that sets the tone more than what our stand actually is. Expressing truth with love and compassion makes it easier to put our self in someone else's shoes. Ignoring an underlining tension creates a gulf eating away at any deeper connection. Avoidance creates shallow friendships. Courage is needed to delve and an investment in the person is made which is never returned empty. I can be right but wrong at the top of my voice. Harsh angry truth brings up defensive walls of protection. Listening while having an open mind and soft heart are compromised. Communication becomes harder the more charged the emotions become. Replying without compassion and a over simplified bandaid feels like a rejection of the deeper feelings involved. Change is not easy and most people don't embrace it until the pain of the present overcomes the fear of the unknown. We tend to be more blunt and outspoken about a certain issue if we feel the people around us share the same view. We can go on autopilot talking in hypothetical or ambiguous terms and we can sacrifice honesty in the bargain too. Only God can change hearts. No amount of nagging or judging someone is going to motivate true positive transformations. Isn't that what most young girls do going in to dating, believing we can change the man we are with, that we can help them live up to their potential? We push, we strain to make an impact on someone.

How do I accept the message when I hear something that I don't agree with? Depending on the comfort level of the relationship I may either externally not say much at all as the newness of the concept sinks in. Or if I'm closer with the person may vocalize a knee jerk opposing rejection ask questions if the atmosphere is safe. Most importantly, if the idea is something God wants to do a work in me, He will. It's my job to not resist.

Which ever side prevails, there are relieved people and those disappointed. Our church's elder selection process, us not adopting this child, every day frustrations and the presidential election have given me plenty of opportunities to see different opinions. God calls us to respect and love each other. Even if we consider someone our enemy, we still are called to 1 Corinthians love them. We are all unique individually and each person brings their own past, experience, views, feelings and traditions. We also bring talents, gifts, strengths that can enrich each other's lives irregardless of age, gender, religious or political convictions.

What pains me in these circumstances is hard hearts towards those who don't believe as they do. Opinions or being right become more important than a person's heart. We are all children of God and we hurt God when we lash out at each other. We desensitise ourselves as we live in a mobile anonymous society. We can all buffer ourselves with like minded people where we sink in to the comfort of long ago formed viewpoints with nothing pulling at us to broaden our minds. It's the easy way out to blame other people for our misfortunes. It takes effort to see God's loving fingerprints in our disappointments. When did we start expecting everything to go our way and throw emotional tantrums when it doesn't? No one promised us happiness every moment. What do we show our children and those around us who look to us for an example of the heart of Christ? Who are we to not forgive what God has??

Isn't this why we all put on our masks? I believe we hide in order not to be judged or thought less of. We keep our darkest failings to only the most trusted who will love us and not label us unkindly and harshly for our past sins. We live in an ever increasingly population where anonymity makes it easy to cast immediate, casual, harsh and very hurtful labels on to people. Are we called to have a relationship with the letter of someone's version of the word or the heart of God? Are we called to defend the bible or be light and salt representing the salvation of Jesus?


I believe in a balance of grace and obedience. I believe in the heart, the compassion and the grace of God. I also don't believe we get to do everything we want so I can be happy. I believe in self control, life and the Holy principles that Jesus lived out in His life. I was not won over by rules, laws or a life of perfection. I was won over to Christ by the offer of unconditional love, forgiveness and acceptance. God does call us to have pure hearts not just actions. We can never legislate the outward behavior to an unbelieving world without showing them Christ in our lives. If I chose to disassociate with everyone who wasn't perfect rationalizing they weren't safe, I'd have to start with me. Our love for God is reflected in how we love all others. Lord willing, I respond to my gift of salvation with gratitude and obedience towards Christ and His laws. I'm not saying I'm perfect with this attitude or with anything else. It's a journey, everything is. I'm realizing it's more about how I get there than if I do. God wants the hard work towards pressing in to Him while we are figuring out life down here. We are here for 80 + years before an eternity with Christ. Falling short includes hard hearts, stern dispositions and prideful attitudes of our measuring our sins to others. Those are sins and need grace as well. The balance for me is that I hold myself to the obedience and give grace to everyone, including myself when we all fall short of the glory of God.

Adoption Update

We have spent much time contemplating having a child in our house. I have come to realize the more real the adoption process becomes to us that no matter the circumstances adopting is complicated. The realization that this could occur as a reality within the next couple of months has been both exhilarating and frightening. Most women have 9 months to adjust from dream to reality, to prepare emotionally and logistically. We've had the last 2 years, 4 months and 6 days to think about our future child in theory. There has been and will continue to be so much to pray about.

How do I tell you this wasn't our chance at expanding our family? How can I express how very difficult this decision was for us? I don't know that I can, because only we can feel the aches in our chest. We continue our wait with faith. We trust God and believe that this precious baby is meant for someone else. That perfect family for him was not us. I ask for your prayers for Joanna and her precious baby boy. They are going through a Christian adoption agency and God will be in this baby's life. There are hundreds of people just like us waiting as well.

I could ask God why bring this opportunity to us if he's not supposed to be with us? I want to ignore all the complications, all the issues and just love a child. I want to change the tracker on this blog to my child's age. I want to fill the bassinet in the nursery. Only because of God do I have a bigger picture, that it's not about blame, anger or regret. Only because of Him and remembering my priorities of God first, then my husband do I know I have much to be grateful for. Part of me doesn't want to care how it will actually happen, I just want a baby to love. I know if I was on the outside, I would believe it's that simple. It's not about bravery. It's not about circumstances or logic. It's about faith. God is working through both of us and we trust He will bring to Billy and I the right child He has meant for us. When that time comes, we will willingly with out reservations accept our future child in to our home, our lives, our hearts.

There's so much more to say, but that will come in time with more perspective. It would be exceedingly easy to let my heart lead. Now I must allow God to lead my heart forward. I can't believe this is an actual post...

Jeremiah 29:10-14

I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back...


We were scheduled to go through the parenting class at the adoption agency this month, but it's a small agency and there were not enough couples to get a class together so we will be hopefully attending in the spring. This change coincides with the economy decreasing the value of our nest egg. So we need some time to build that back up anyway.

For the Folks

For both of our parent's benefits, here are our Halloween costumes. Billy's was very creative so I tagged on to it with alot of his help. He spent alot of the week perfecting the voice for Billy's Mays... love you honey! I was his infomerical groupie. We went over to our long time friends, the Alexander's with several other couples and had a sweet time with them.

The best part of Halloween for me is that it's my younger brother's birthday. Happy 30th Louis!!


Last Sunday night was the Fall fest at our church. Our small group did the under five games of hunt for buried treasure and pull the duck out of the water and the number underneath is how much candy you get We enjoyed the time with the Shartungs, Ways, Taylors and Maloney's:
We did some early voting at an area rec center... First time I've early voted, but glad to after the last voting round and waiting around 4 hours to do so. 30 minutes.... not so bad :-)


Pumpkin carving contest at work. Spooky theme was not my idea or taste. I was told 'cute' wasn't an option. Sad thing was, it won, and the good thing will be going to lunch at Campises and getting to know new people:

My attempt at seasonal cookies . First time I've tried rolled out gluten free cookies:


Spent some time with Rachel yesterday:
There's this week in pictures. I've been contemplating whether to put some thoughts and feelings here about what's been on my heart. I may wait until the emotion has subsided a bit more. Perspective is everything I believe when sharing any story. Giving the right credit to God, showing compassion, grace, love and understanding. Until that happens, it's best that I keep giving it to God.

November Daily Bible Reading

November

I'm very much looking forward to the rest of the years readings, especially the latter half of the old testament, I'm not as familiar with that portion.

Date	OT Reading	NT Reading	Gospel Reading
November 1	Jeremiah 31,32	Titus 2	Mark 4
November 2	Jeremiah 33,34,35	Titus 3	Mark 5
November 3	Jeremiah 36,37	Philemon	Mark 6
November 4	Jeremiah 38,39	Hebrews 1	Mark 7
November 5	Jeremiah 40,41,42	Hebrews 2	Mark 8
November 6	Jeremiah 43,44,45	Hebrews 3	Mark 9
November 7	Jeremiah 46,47,48	Hebrews 4	Mark 10
November 8	Jeremiah 49,50	Hebrews 5	Mark 11
November 9	Jeremiah 51,52	Hebrews 6	Mark 12
November 10	Lamentations 1,2	Hebrews 7	Mark 13
November 11	Lamentations 3,4,5	Hebrews 8	Mark 14
November 12	Ezekiel 1,2,3	Hebrews 9	Mark 15
November 13	Ezekiel 4,5,6	Hebrews 10:1-23	Mark 16
November 14	Ezekiel 7,8,9	Hebrews 10:24-39	Luke 1
November 15	Ezekiel 10,11,12	Hebrews 11:1-19	Luke 2
November 16	Ezekiel 13,14,15	Hebrews 11:20-40	Luke 3
November 17	Ezekiel 16	Hebrews 12	Luke 4
November 18	Ezekiel 17,18,19	Hebrews 13	Luke 5
November 19	Ezekiel 20,21	James 1	Luke 6
November 20	Ezekiel 22,23	James 2	Luke 7
November 21	Ezekiel 24,25,26	James 3	Luke 8
November 22	Ezekiel 27,28	James 4	Luke 9
November 23	Ezekiel 29,30,31	James 5	Luke 10
November 24	Ezekiel 32,33	1 Peter 1	Luke 11
November 25	Ezekiel 34,35	1 Peter 2	Luke 12
November 26	Ezekiel 36,37	1 Peter 3	Luke 13
November 27	Ezekiel 38,39	1 Peter 4	Luke 14
November 28	Ezekiel 40	1 Peter 5	Luke 15
November 29	Ezekiel 41,42	2 Peter 1	Luke 16
November 30	Ezekiel 43,44	2 Peter 2	Luke 17