Tick Tock

6 days! We are on God and Matthew's schedule. I am taking advice and sleeping as much as I can feeling as uncomfortable as I do. Our little guy has to be snug in there since I can feel every little move. Mommy and daddy are very ready to feel him in our arms. I feel content with the progress that's been made on preparing for his arrival. I have the most urgent projects completed. Bags are packed and in the car, car seat is installed. Our last task will be completed by Billy tomorrow, courtesy of his family by picking up a pump tomorrow.

Many people have asked about a birth plan. I think it comes with the territory in this stage of the pregnancy along with, "How are you feeling?" and I'm not offended by either question. I'm a fairly open book since I believe what we've gone through, are feeling and experiencing are as Ecclesiastes says 'Nothing new Under the Sun'. As far as a plan, it's one of the things we've live out the last few years that God's will is different in each of our lives. His plan, timing and ways are His alone. We are not cookie cutter patterns of each other and so what His plan looks like for each family is different. I think two of the perspectives I've gained with conversations about labor is first, having Matthew and wanting what is best for him is God's will. Also, each woman has an individual ideal in their head of what that the perfect labor story would be like. I've asked many a mommy for different perspectives on what/ how/ why/ when etc... I do indeed have very patient, compassionate and generous female friends who were not threatened by my curiosity of all the different ways this can happen nor did they pressure me in to their way of doing things. I truly desire in my heart to be confident in the direction the Lord is leading us and our Godly doctor to do what is best. I do not want too many specific expectations or pressures on his arrival since I know my tendency towards perfectionism could very well end with the thought of failure. How can it be failure when God has graciously, beautifully carried us through the journey we've been on for 3 1/2 years towards the culmination of our dreams in this area? God has control over our lives and nothing I would want to plan is going to take that away from Him.

I do ask prayers for the week(s) ahead for the strength to do what is necessary to do my part to bring Matthew in to the world. Unknowns easily get built up in my head. The temptation to worry, from what I hear, never really goes away. There is always the next step fraught with potential pitfalls . I remind myself in those moments again God brought us here and also women do this every day. I can do this, what ever it may be. Everything is also tinged with excitement, emotion, anticipation and hope. This time next week, Lord willing, Matthew will be in our arms :-))

We are looking forward to a quiet week with a last pre-baby date night planned in there. Part of me giggles thinks by typing that he might come early, but only God knows.

Dark & Foggy Night

Last night, we got introduced to the details of the Labor and Delivery unit of our selected hospital. Normal day going along...nap here, writing thank you notes there, having my requisite pregnant tacos there. As Billy and I are winding down with some funny tv a little excitement started. Bright red blood, contractions and a still baby boy had me calling the dr to see what she thought. She said she to go in for monitoring to see if this was it. We arrived and Billy did the admissions thing. They wheeled me up to L&D and Billy followed when he was done. I gave the customary sample, answered several dozen questions while they hooked up monitoring equipment. I had several contractions while there, but no more bleeding. Matthew started moving more with the equipment pressing on my belly which just gave me a sense of relief. They checked to see if I was still at 1 cm, which I am. The dr had told me at our weekly appointment on Monday that I was getting more thinned out so nothing had changed from that point. Two hours later we were on our way back home through the drizzling foggy night with the reassurance I was really wanting. Everything with our precious gift was fine. It never feel like active labor the way they described it. We live in a fallen world where disappointments happen and not everything goes according to our earthly plans. This experience like many over the last 3 1/2 years has me in prayer, some days more frequently about this issue than others not to have a spirit of fear and worry of what is beyond my control. Billy did the video camera and picture thing, it's around here somewhere. He's calling it our baby fire drill, so glad he's in this with me because I have one sleepy husband at work this morning!

Pregnancy Pics

I couldn't resist sharing a few more of my favorites from the photo session before and after the shower yesterday!

Billy and I on the Taylor's front porch


I already sit and rocking feeling so peaceful in my sister, Lisa's glider

Creative ideas from my bonus mom!

36 weeks

As of today, we have reached the 9 month mark. We went for our now weekly appointments this morning. Currently I've gained about 40 pounds, waist is ummm well huge. I can't remember what my original number is anymore to know how much more it is. My balance is worse than usual, I never was the most graceful lady anyway. Biggest news we heard this morning is that I am 1 cm dilated and 'thinned out'. Apparently that just means he probably won't wait until his due date of November 3rd. If he happens to want to hang out in there longer than that, we do have an induction date of November 4th planned as back up. We could be slowly dilating over the next couple weeks I'm hearing. My water hasn't broken yet and there has been no consistent contractions. I've felt pressure increasingly over the last couple of weeks. I've had braxton hicks since the beginning of the 2nd trimester. Over the last month, Billy was very sick with the H1N1. Matthew and I were already on antibiotics for an unrelated issue so we managed to stay well. I went and get a regular flu shot today so he would have the antibodies when he's born. Both our obgyn and one of the pediatricians said with this being a bad flu season, he would need it all the help he can get. Hopefully I'm able to nurse so that will help with anitbodies as well. Over the course of September we completed a child birth, infant care and beast feeding classes all through the hospital. Ladies Bible study and Small Group started back up and precious friends from our previous church threw us a shower. We were double blessed with new friendships we've made over the last year and a half by their willingness to throw us one as well. We feel VERY loved!!! Yesterday my bonus mom took some wonderful pictures of Billy and I that I already treasure and tear up when I look at them. We are so thankful for this experience.