The more things change....

My lack of personal entries lately has been due to adjusting to the shock of family news. After almost three years we have found out we are pregnant. We are very grateful for God revealing His timing to us. Of course the journey to this point might ( and I stress the might) have been easier to know from the beginning, here is your wait time. We did not get any such E.T.A. We haven't done anything different. Any clique in regard to relaxing, being in the adoption process or other such urban legends do not apply. This is quite simply what God's plan is for us. We are in no way experts in how to 'get this to work'. His will, plan and timing are played out differently in each situation. We also do not loose the perspective from the last 3 years either.

The division that seems to exist like an invisible line between being a parent and not has long been and still continues to be mystifying to me. Not only has there been shock as the news has been settling in for us but also fear. Fear of somehow undoing this, of yet another disappointment. Miscarriages are in my family and I do have several higher risk issues. My age, how long it took us to get pregnant, as well as my auto immune condition are all in God's hands. We pray frequently not to live in that fear. Satan will not steal this experience that we thought was lost from us. God made this baby start to grow and only God knows the future. We do trust all the unknown to our known loving God.

This process can be like planning a wedding, overshadowing the rest of your life for a time. No, I will not complain in regard to the feelings of discomfort that have already begun. We did pray for this step of the journey emotionally and physically. If you want to know the symptoms I'm experiencing, I'll be glad to share. Doing so here with out the benefit of tone of voice can be too easily misconstrued as complaining. One of the things I've wanted most of all in sharing our news was to show respect for other much cared for friends whom I know very well where they are at emotionally. They announced last week in church about several births and there was still a twinge knowing our news. That awareness doesn't go away for me with one test result.

We ask for prayers for the health and growth of this baby. Thank you for being part of our journey the last 3 years and onward. We also ask for prayers for those still waiting not knowing what God's plan is for them. We have made amazing friends in the last three years and know this news will affect them. It's still early and anything could happen, but the doctor says we are due November 3, 2009.

March Photos

Here's everything that's been sitting on my camera!!

Fun lunch with old co-workers:

Bowling for our friend Tim's birthday:


Hung out with these sweet girls and their mommies on St Patrick's Day at the Arboretum:

Laura Bush sighting while we were there:

Visiting sweet friend Trina and her 6 day old bundle, Natalie

Dinner & Dominoes with Brooke, Amy and their hubbies.

Monthly scrap night at Jenn's

Wedding shower via Skype for Bekka in Namibia:
Gathering from Papa's house something to remember him by before the house sells:

Spending time with sweet Ginny & Brooke:

Funny mommy/ daughter time:
I am in none of them :-)

Mistakes

I've posted from this site before, mainly because it's so practical and I enjoy having a copy of my favorite entries on my blog... so read and think :-)

1. Lack of respect. A fundamental component of a healthy marriage is respect. It’s interesting that there are times when I see people treating their neighbor with more respect than they do their spouse. Little things like saying thank you, talking them up rather than down to your friends and co-workers, and letting them know you appreciate them and your relationship will go a long way to increasing the respect between you.

2. Little sex. It’s been reported that there are as many as 20 million sexless marriages in America. While sex is not the end all, be all to marriage, it is an important component. If little sex is occurring in your marriage (and you’d like more) discuss this with your spouse and/or seek professional help.

3. Always being “right”. Probably one very unattractive quality in a person is the know-it-all syndrome. Add to this the idea of always having to get in the last word and you’ve got a recipe for trouble. Admit your mistakes or that you perhaps don’t have all the answers. And if you still insist on always being right, riddle me this - if you’re always right, what’s that make your spouse? So what’s it like being married to a loser?

4. Saying “I told you so.” Much like the previous point, rubbing in your being right is never a good idea. It sounds too much like a parent-child relationship. And when it comes to parenting your spouse, can you say… disaster!

5. Dishonesty with your spouse. Lies and secrets can harm any relationship. They can create a distance and lack of trust between you, making it hard for both of you to enjoy the marriage. Own up to your decisions in life. If you’ve got some things going on outside your marriage that you don’t want your spouse to know, that speaks more about your integrity than it does theirs. Live according to your core values. It makes life much more enjoyable for everyone, especially you.

6. Hurtful sarcasm. While some of the exchanges aren’t meant to be harmful, if one of you thinks the comment is hurtful or disrespectful, it is. To borrow a phrase from Hayden and her husband, if one of them thinks something is a problem, then it’s a problem.

7. Unclear boundaries with family members. Part of creating a marriage and a family requires boundaries around the marriage and the family. Picking up the phone to include your parents, or your children, in your marital difficulties often only exacerbates the issue.

8. Too much story telling. I’m guilty of this one by providing too much detail in the discussions with my spouse. While there are times when the story needs to be expounded and the details serve a valuable purpose, but providing too much often gets in the way.

9. Distance. Whether the space between you is physical or emotional, it’s hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone who’s not there. If your life requires that you be physically apart from your spouse at times, this doesn’t mean you have to be emotionally apart. Use technology to your advantage. In-network phone calls are unlimited. Chat with each other over the web. Video conference one another or send video emails. You can remain connected even though you’re miles apart.

10. Unfair fighting. While disagreements and arguments are bound to happen, it’s vital to stay on topic in the discussion. Bringing up all your partner’s faults and failings doesn’t help the situation. Neither does raising your voice. As my grandfather would say, anytime a person raises their voice in a conversation, it’s about power and pride.


I'll add a couple of my(Lori's) own here:

Not saying you're sorry after you make any of these or other mistakes
Lack of personal responsiblity
Taking each other for granted

Except for #2 I think all of these can apply to any other relationship as well. No relationship can survive for any length of time with out forgiveness either. In our society where we believe we can live other people's lives better than they can, compassion and getting all the facts is crucial. No one is perfect starting with me.

Nooma

I've heard a few of these lessons by Rob Bell from Nooma that speak in every day language. Enjoy!