Weekend in Pics.... My mother in law's birthday at Babe's in Garland :-) We had dinner with lots of Billy's side of the family: Bill, Alice, Mike, and Kyle as well as good friends Dawn and Jarrod. Seriously if you haven't been to this place, it's worth the drive!
Saturday,breakfast with the family, work for a couple of hours, then dinner with the family and off to Sydney's play. She is so talented !! Here are the two ladies of the weekend, Alice & Sydney.
Sunday, church, off to Fort Worth with the family to spend a few hours. Love, love Mandy, we talked pictures. She is going to school for photography and my younger brother has never looked so happy. I'm such a weepy older sister, it made me tear up seeing him so happy.
One of the beautiful things that happened this afternoon not only getting to know Mandy more, but scanning some priceless very meaningful pictures. I haven't posted any of Lisa yet, so I hope this is okay for my family to see her face here, it's a comfort to me to relive those memories of her right now. It's her with her boys, she wanted to be a mother too. It took her a year and a half to have Jamee, it comforts me that Lisa would understand our journey to have a child.
Tomorrow morning is our first specialist appointment, I admit to nervousness about this, please pray for.... what ever God wants in growing His family.
Last time of crunching sales in, fixing constant issues, charge offs, attitudes, off food schedules, no lunch, 12-14 hour days. Tomorrow I have to go in to reconcile and then aaahhhh, it's all behind me :-) I'm exhausted but I just wanted to appreciate the moment. Lots more changes, had I not put my notice in, I wouldn't have reported to the same two SVP's anyway. Due to major downsizing of our branches due to the housing slump many people have lost their job in the last week. It's very different when it's on my terms and being let go, so I do pray for all those people who did lose their job. An admin that supported one of the downsized divisions starts in our area Monday, so at least my leaving saved someone else from being let go. So as of Monday, I don't have a computer, phone or cube really. They are still paying me, so I'm grateful :-)
I was grateful when they started posting these on the walls of the building. Ambiguous definitions, but a step in the right direction I thought none the less.
Current song playing through my head ( there's always one, this is courtesy of Amy & Nate's Wedding CD) A Living Prayer by Alison Krauss
Billy's parents are in town this weekend, as well as my brother's girl friend. I'll take pics and post Monday. I'm exhausted....night night
Welcome to the 2007 edition of getting to know your friends. I decided to post it on my blog rather then email around. Thanks Dawn!
1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:55 AM (only for two more weeks)
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? hhmmm, Bourne what ever the last one was. Man, I love my husband....
4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? Lost and Heroes, HGTV
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? dry cereal while driving to work
6. What is your middle name? Catherine
7. What food do you dislike? Anything that makes me sick ( Wheat, rye, barley, oats or lactose)
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? toss up between Casting Crowns and Nate & Amy's wedding CD
9. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Corolla
10. Favorite sandwich? peanut butter and butter on GF bread.
11. What characteristics do you despise? my own flaws
12. Favorite item of clothing? t-shirt and work out pants
13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? Tropical, any of them
14. What color is your bathroom? powder blue (guest bath) sage green (master bath)
15. Favorite brand of clothing? Ann Taylor Loft (me too)
16. Where would you retire? by the water with Billy
17. Most memorable birthday? my 13th. Leah and I celebrated together by having friends over for the night. My mom made us hamburgers, boys came over and my mom made them leave. Took tons of pics, good times
18. Favorite Sport to watch? Did I mention I was raised in a house of girls? I don't watch sports (me too)
19. Favorite saying? Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
20. When is your birthday? May 1
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night, Definitely!
22. What is your shoe size? 7
23. Favorite food for Dinner? fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn with a sweet desert... yyummmmo
24. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher
25. What are you today? a wife :-)
26. What is your favorite candy? Snickers, Mr Goodbar
27. What is your favorite flower? Anything my husband gives me
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? October 15th ( last day of work)
29. What church do you attend? Greeneville Oaks Church of Christ (although still members of Prestoncrest)
30. What are you listening to right now? the hummmm of my office
31. What was the last thing you ate? gf corn flakes
32. Do you wish on stars? no
33. Do you believe in Angels? Yes
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? sage green
35. What is your pet peeve? When people assume or take over.
36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? I forwarded a voice mail to a manager
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes - Dawn is one of the most compassionate people I know.
38. Favorite soft drink? Sprite
39. Favorite restaurant? Laura's Bistro
40. Siblings? 7 total, 2 are in heaven
41. Favorite day of the year? Christmas, for one day we are who God made us to be. Peaceful, loving and giving.
42. Favorite day of the Week? Saturday and Sunday are tied
43. Spring or Fall: Spring
44. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
45. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
46. What is under your bed? Winter clothes, they'll come out soon
47. Who is the friend you've had longest? Leah, Jennifer, Amy W
48. What did you do last night? Small group at our house
49. Favorite smell? Roast cooking
50. What are you afraid of? Abandonment
51. How many keys on your key ring? 4
52. How many years at your current job? 3 years
53. Favorite city to visit? I'm not much of a traveler, but Billy makes it sound fun, so anywhere he gets excited about.
54. How many towns have you lived in? 4
55. Do you make friends easily? No, small talk is soooo hard for me
Well this morning Billy and I made the call to have the nurse consultation with the clinic.. Lots of medical, reproductive, family and personal history given. Talked with both of my parents after the fact to make sure I remembered things correctly. I have the worst memory, it was a good thing Billy was on the phone. I could promise that fill in the blank, but once my sweet husband starts with.."uumm honey, but didn't such and such happen?" I'm like of course, you're right! He's definitely the brains of the family.
My side is a fairly healthy family, a little heart disease, some sugar level issues. The anomaly of course being my sweet sister, who was sick for so very long before she left us. It did take her a year and a half to have my oldest nephew. My mother and other sister are very fertile. *shrug* My grandmother was adopted and that was a different day and age for adoptions, so nothing is known going any further back on my maternal grandmother's side. Billy asked some very insightful questions in regard to treatment plans. Her response that they would start monitoring my cycle on a much closer level only reaffirmed leaving my job as that sounds time consuming. I for one was very reassured that there would be a plan of action. Something to do, yes we've been praying and will continue to daily. I definitely want to do my part and be up to what ever God leads us through this process.
Okay, work pic for the day. Yes, there are reminders, procedures, etc all around my walls which testifies to how visual I am. The bar of soap is from a ladies series I attended and the topic was purity, Ivory is 99.9% pure. Also on there is a character / integrity test. I'm a very out of sight out of mind person. My favorite feature on Lotus notes is that you can flag emails for follow up and create reminders. It's the only reason I can keep a job, as my memory as I said above stinkos...hehehe:
Yeahhh, half days for 3 days at work. Last night was women's study, tonight looking in to Homemade Groumet (they have gluten free stuff , yeaaaa) and tomorrow is PC Small Group. A regular work day Thursday and my in laws come in town:-). Marathon work day Friday as it's month end close out. Saturday, go back in to reconcile all the sales, and Sydney has her play, can't wait, she's so outgoing and lively and pretty, very sweet girl. Sunday, new church stuff. Monday will bring us to 2 weeks and counting. It will be a busy time and wish I could see more of my other mom and dad while they are here, but we plan to go out there before the Holidays too. I really wished they lived closer or we did. Here's my work pic for the day, hehe it's my bosses car, so kewl !:
This weekend was good. Billy and I spent a bit of the weekend catching up on a tv series. We have been working through the dvd's of season 1 on Heroes. It really didn't seem my thing at first, but I must admit to liking it now. Season 2 premiere is tonight. Billy will be dvring even though he's home tonight.
Captivating Study is tonight for me. I'm praying about a retreat that is coming up in November for the study. Tiredness hit me last night. Within 5 minutes I went from joking around with Billy to being almost asleep at 5 pm as we were about to leave for a fellowship with our new Sunday small group. I was nervously looking forward to the event as I'm not very good with people I don't know well. We are looking forward to a smaller group where we can feel needed. Since we've gotten married, we've changed Sunday morning classes a few times, volunteered, contacted the church as as well as class leaders. I don't know what's not clicking. I don't think it should be this hard to feel like we belong. It's been so easy to float through lately. We haven't really felt missed. It's a tug between reaching out and feeling as though people are reaching out to us. Lately, I've definitely felt more of a taker, needy even. I really trying to work on focusing on others and caring about what is going on outside of us.
One of the devotionals I read today really spoke to me today about filtering what I "feel" is right. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds me to lean on God's understanding as well as Isaiah 55:8. I pray these are the right decisions and the path we are taking is God's will.
I don't often watch Oprah, but her health segments catch my attention. Some interesting findings with on health tests related to stress, as that is one of the things we are trying to curtail. The essentail part of that for me is really letting go and trusting God's will in this matter. There were some interesting insights with Dr. Oz's talk though. I did really well energy wise until yesterday, then tiredness hit me. Eyes have been burning and it gets harder to get out of bed the last couple of mornings. Stomach is a bit tender today too.
I was very blessed to get a phone call based on posting my resume on Career Builder last night. Reassuring in that I haven't given notice before without something concrete lined up. They need to staff asap and it just wouldn't be right to leave my current job high and dry. I applied for several part time office jobs online just now. I'm off to rest...
Here's my work picture for the day. It's my building and one of the parking garages. I am not a morning person. Only thing that gets me there are 7:15ish every morning is trying to get a parking spot so I don't have to walk a football field to get in the building.:
This is two of the VP's that have been in my area at work for the majority of the time I have been in the REO department. I've been taking pics of the most random things around the office to remember this place by.
Okay, gotta scrounge the classifieds and make hubby dinner. Whee, I'm tired, but I'm off to start treating Billy on how he would like to become accustomed.
Billy and I have been praying for a few months now about how to proceed and what's best on this unexpected journey towards parenthood. After much prayer and discussion we decided that I would scale back on working outside of the home. God brought this option to us by blessing Billy with a significant raise and through that we have paid off all outstanding debt (cars and furniture) leaving us only the mortgage. As there is no physical reason set before us, this may help with the over all stress factors involved in our situation. Billy has been a wonderful sport, but he has gotten increasingly more of just left over from me at the end of the work day. I plan on looking for something part time, close to home. Supplement some income and still feel productive and useful with a connection to the outside world. We had hoped I would be able to stay home when we had children anyway, so this will be a good transition. We believe God has opened this door and we are blessed by the opportunity. Billy has crunched the numbers several times and we know God will provide and bless this decision.
My last date is tentatively set at October 15. I didn't blog last night as the only thing on my mind was how to do what I needed to do today. I didn't feel I should write it here until I had the conversations with both my bosses this morning. A huge relief to me was they understood our situation as it bothers me immensely when someone is upset with me. I wanted to try to give them enough time to restaff and for me to train someone through the intense time of month end with the 14 hour days that are expected from that position. I have nothing bad to say about my bosses or co-workers, they have been part of my life for 3 years. It's been an encouragement in a sense to have people to talk about it and still have something to do that makes me feel accomplished and appreciated. The mortgage industry has been part of my life for the last 3 years, it will all be missed. The next steps will be more of a distraction and time off from work so this is best all around. I have a phone consultation this coming week and our first appointment with the clinic the week after. At some point we will need to make the trek out to New Mexico and meet with the head of the Children's home as well. It's a bit weird but a feeling of relief that more energy can be devoted to building our family. I like to think I have given my job the best I can. They have paid me generously and I should definitely work to earn that. I missed an important day at work the week before last and only did half days last week, it's just not fair to them either. They need someone who can get all of the job done.
I finally feel like myself for the first time in weeks. I must say again I'm so thankful this particular medical issue was temporary. The medications were definitely worse than the infection itself. I'm looking forward to a normal week. Hobby night tonight. Gym Tuesday and Thursday, small group on Wednesday. Date night on Friday. I'm looking forward to just being active and alert. It truly is a blessing to come home, make Billy dinner. Wait for his quiet time while I finish preparing and while he cleans up, have some quiet time myself. I thank God for the great team mate He has provided.
The clinic called us back today in response to the 36 page fax I sent this morning with all the required information. They were very kind and sincere. A tad nervous about this step. We have prayed about how far we would go. We trust God to guide us through this if this is the way to go. I get conflicted, as I do with most things at some point or another in any decision I make. I question, Billy researches.We just want to do the right thing. Not to reject medicine, but not to limit God or take His power and control out of this at all.
What do we make of the promises in the bible? They are for us all. What about the people that do adopt, does that mean being fruitful and multiplying still applies for these people? Christians who serve and love the Lord and are still afflicted with long term diseases. "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future." has very much been our prayer since the beginning of this. Thank you Kristen... definitely food for thought. Billy and I remind each other it's up to God to grow our family. If it's His will, it will happen. Either way, we are content, we are blessed.
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Okay, I didn't like spam in the 70's and now it's leaving a comment on my blog. Guess it didn't like the bad press I was giving it. I finally figured out how to delete it :-)...
Yeaaaaa, took the last one tonight. The bad one was done yesterday, still had a bit of residual left over today from that one. But...I got through church, which I haven't done in weeks. I REALLY miss the encouragement and support of praising God with fellow believers. I am like the children of Israel and my memory is very short. I need the weakly reminder of God's love, grace and wisdom. I also need to know I'm not the only one trying to live a life for Jesus.
Billy and I went to a different church this morning. It's been a decision we've been praying about for quite some time, even before we knew our pulpit minister was leaving. We went to Greeneville Oaks and saw an old friend and his beautiful wife and daughter. Saw some old Prestoncresters too. We enjoyed this morning so much and were so encouraged to only have to drive the 5 rather than the 30 minutes that we picked up the small group information. We also also praying with a smaller church that our offers of help will be accepted and we can feel a part of a class again. We've really struggled with that since being married. We LOVED the singles group and I really was filled being an active part and helping give to a ministry. While I'm dialing the contact information for the small group geared towards us at Greenville Oaks I told Billy it feels like we are cheating on Prestoncrest. The wonderful thing is this small group meets on Sunday night and our existing one meets on Wednesdays. It's at the pulpit ministers house this month 3 blocks from us. We are hoping our existing small group will be okay with the dual attendance and still allow us to meet with them. We really enjoy their friendship, prayers, and encouragement so much. The Johnston's, Bagley's and Tipton's have been there for us since the beginning of the infertility issue and we are really counting on their continued support as people who know and accept us on a deeper level.
After church I layed down for a while and then felt up to using a bit of grey matter, so Billy and I went through our checklist and 19 page introduction packet for the Infertility Specialists, feeling ready to send that off tomorrow. Very anxious nervous feeling taking these steps forward. Definitely leaning on God to guide us in the way that will glorify Him and continue to seek His will in this as well as the other changes going on in our lives.
Well, I just came online to look for a good gluten free cake recipe to make for Wednesday night... later :-)
I have tried to keep my whining/ complaining to a minimum as it has been wearing on even me to continually focus on the side effects. Billy has written on our dry erase board on the refrigerator a countdown of how many of each meds are left until I am done. I have to say that's been so encouraging! I have noticed since Wednesday increasingly longer periods where I "feel" awake and not just a zombie sitting around dozing in and out half the day. Then I take the afternoon pill and it's night, night Lori. My work I know has been inconvenienced by these shorter days. I have gotten to work every morning with my usual tasks as well as what ever came up the afternoon before to handle. It was a big week on several fronts which is why I didn't just take a personal leave for the week. I depleted my vacation time, but it was necessary to get through this week and not just tread water but allow my body to make progress in getting well. If I'd just been able to sit at my desk, that would not have even been necessary but there's quite a bit of getting up and down and getting things down upstairs or on the other side of the building. The walking around increases the nausea, lightheadness and stomach cramps.
This is normally what I've been looking like for the last couple of weeks. Yes, Billy did take the picture. I'm having an awake moment and not nearly so philosophical, but I did just finish lunch and my pill. I'm really hoping to be able to make Billy dinner tonight. Easy spaghetti, but something he doesn't have to do himself none the less. We'll see how I feel when the effects of the pill settle in. Billy has made this issue so much easier. He has made me dinner every single night, cleaned the house, done all the laundry, the grocery shopping and gone to church by himself the last couple of weeks. I thank him for each and every one of these acts of kindness that show how much he loves me.
Here is a video off a friend's blog. I hope you get as much out of this as I did. The song is by LifeHouse called "Everything"
I saw a friend today I haven't seen since I my wedding. She is one of the most gentle, tender hearted, compassionate people. By the time we were done eating, I felt all that time shrink to nothing. She was only in town because her 34 year old fiance was having bypass surgery. I ask for prayers for Jennifer and Kelly. We were a sad little pair from afar, me nausous and fatigued, her weary and tired from sitting by the man she loves bedside. Another dear friend last night in our small group lost the benefit of a spirutal mentor in her life due to him passing on to meet our Savior, Lord please be with the McElroy family. I hear of a familly who last one of their 7 year old twins in a drowning accident. I can't imagine the pain that mother is feeling. One friend while in pain herself tries to be there for her sister in law suffering from a rare kind of cancer. There are some people at work in an immoral situation and I feel saddened and I want to help, to but it's not place, so maybe by leaving it at that, I can lay that before the Father and know He will work on their hearts.
So many other people hurting, facing pain, loss and worry in their lives. We all have this journey with Christ. A Jesus who woes us against satan who tempts us.I wonder at time if I give more than I take. I pray to not be self involved in my own worries, to give comfort and love to those hurting around me. I don't know sometimes if hearing about the hurts of others should just stop with me, so it's not gossip. Do I have the obligation to ask as many people as I can to pray as God hears our hearts and will listen as more and more people beseach him? Not disguise my concern as a veiled attempt to judge or pass on personal information that would disrespect or in any way judge someone else. I try to respect other people's privacy, to ask in love and kindness. To be available for God should the opportunity arise to give His words, His truth and His love. God is not one glaring down from heaven waiting to condemn. He wants to show us in love, a better way.
Short ( well, for me anyway) today, I have to get more sleep....
As I sit here after just getting home so I can eat lunch and take a pill that brings with it pain, my mind wonders to a hundred different topics, morality, honesty, integrity. I'm so grateful for Billy and how easy it is to trust him because I know his center is Christ. Sure, we all make mistakes, even then he's forthcoming. I look around at my small portion of the "worldly" both inside and outside of my own heart and am saddened, shocked. Infidelity, dishonesty, rationalizing and making all together too many decisions based on emotions. I pray that I do pray, that I care, that God brings an opportunity to bring His truth and morals in a way that loves the person and yet does not accept the sin being done. Even taking these pills, yes, they say moodiness is supposed to be a side effect. I still don't believe that any excuse (including PMS) relinquishes my responsibility of self control. Going through life making decisions based solely on feelings? my "gut" instinct? emotions? on what's fun regardless if it's right? or easing my human pain with whatever crutch the world provides (alcohol, food, bitterness, drugs, sex outside of marriage, ambition, greed, materialism, profanity, violence) well, it's an ok decision or come on it's no big deal I'm a good person, it's enough to get by, well they did it, no one will get hurt, no one will ever know, it's my body, well it could be worse, I have to look out for number one. Randomly floating through life with no purpose, no goal, doing what ever comes up, is easy or is fun, gets the adrenaline going.
I seriously thank my Lord and Savior for saving me from the world and myself. To know there is a right and wrong, it's called commandments, the Bible. To give me prayer so that I always have my best friend to talk to. To provide other Christians who will remind me of what Jesus has asked of us when I'm feeling selfish. When I need an example, where do I go? There's the bible, Jesus, old testament Joseph, Job, David, Paul. It's not a child's story, or just characters on a felt board. It's a life, a freedom that I can't find in anyone or anything else on the face of the planet. Jesus is... a safe harbor for comfort on a bad day, a moral compass when temptation calls, an example when I can't possibly understand what to do next, a pillar of hope when I'm discouraged the only judge that matters my example to love, forgive, respect and accept Any why I do I care that He is these things? Why do I have all of these needs built in me? Because God created those needs only because He knew he could fill every single one of them. No temporary thrill or high can fill that God shaped place in every one's soul. Knowing these aren't lofty unattainable actions that in my soul I can do that, because someone first started that cycle, that tradition, that legacy in my heart before even the day I let Him in.
Yes, it delights my heart to hear my husband, family and friends express concern and love and support. But even if I had none of that, Jesus would still be enough. You know, when I feel walked over and just itching to fight back and defend myself, I KNOW I can let it go, I can forgive, I can be kind. Why? Because if the only perfect person who ever lived can forgive, can let it go, can be kind while hanging on a cross looking the people in the eyes and praying that God forgive those who put him there, how can I not?? Those that put him there includes everyone who has ever lived on this plant except Jesus. He can and does forgive all our sins and continues to do so for me on an intimate and personal basis as well as everyone else daily. Surely, not so that I'll "get my ticket/ insurance policy to heaven" but in gratitude (if nothing else) I can pass that on. Why would I want to spend eternity with Jesus if I can't delight in him and follow Him for the 80+ years I'm on earth?? To let someone, everyone, else know what as much as I can about the warmth and compassion and peace that Jesus displays for me every moment of my life even before I knew Him personally, even before I was old enough to decide whether I wanted to follow Him.
He forgives me even those days when I say I believe in Him, but my actions aren't showing it. That happens daily at some point or another. As much as I want to sin less and believe they aren't as bad as they used to and or as often, they really are. Not acknowledging my sin is what separates me from God. It's me, in shame or fear that turns away, never, NEVER God. ALL I have to do is admit what I did was wrong, no excuses. Ask him! That's it, he does it for everybody no matter what I've done. Not make it up to him, not do good deeds, not be in church every time the door opens or give up my whole life, although I'll feel compelled to anyway once my own fault has been dealt with. Why? Cause I'm free, free of the shame and the guilt. I've been honest with God not measuring up to what He wants and He forgave. I know I've hurt him and I don't want to continue so my regret, my repetence, my "feeling I'm sorry" should lead me to want to do better next time. Sure, I might stumble, but if I turn to God, he will help me catch myself sooner next time. Ask and forgive and help me Lord to keep doing better and not to give up. I could say no and my past has shown I will just stray further and further from the peace and love and forgivness, but that's my choice. Say yes to God and do the hard work? (I know He won't leave me alone, He'll help me ) or say no and gradually, ever so gradually all that "sin" starts not looking so bad. Wham! satan won.
Only God wants all of me, he doesn't expect me to be perfect, why else would I need Him if I could do it all myself? Which I can't! I'm selfish, impatient, not nearly serving enough, not kind enough. I'm an intreverted person that has a very hard time making the first move with other people. God was so patient knocking on the door of my heart as a kid. His patience continues as fumble through decisions in my life. Just deciding between good things! Because it's not about me, it's about God.
Sure, it's scary to let Him in, to risk telling others, to be different but look at the payoff! I was scared that he'd really see me, he'll know I'm not up for this, that I'm a fraud, that I'm not like all those "good" people in church. I didn't have years of knowing what's expected and the words to the songs and the etiquette and the inside langauge in a Church. Satan uses every excuse he can in your head to keep you away from Christ. But I think, I'll have to give things up, it won't be any fun, oh that's all nonsense, how can one man die for all the sins and for all the people?, science... man's attempt to explain God has shoved God straight out of the picture, how can He let bad things happen? Where was He when "that" happened. We are all controlled by something, as much as I want to call all the shots, have the power and control, I don't. The truth is the truth whether I believe it or not. God gives us all free will, because love isn't love if it's forced. It's not a choice to love Him and follow his commandments if we are all programmable robots. Right is right even if no one else is doing it and wrong is wrong even if everyone else is doing it. But just like the little girl who made herself give up the fake pearls on trust, now yet knowing her daddy had behind his back the real thing. If she would only give up the imitation, the thing she was clutching on to for dear life that was a mere copy, she would get the priceless real thing, the original.
The original is by DC Talk, called In the Light. The girl version says "I'm the queen of excuses, I've got one for every selfish thing I do. What's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior. This only confirms my suspicions, that I'm still a girl in need of a savior"
I read last night (as I have plenty of time to do that right now, only being able to sit or lay down in between dozing off) James Dobson talk about trees. The trees in the rain forest, those tall beautiful trees are really weak. A slight breeze could blow them over. They are lazy, given all the water any tree could possibly want with no effort on their part. They literally have it made in the shade. Where as trees grown in arid conditions are some of the strongest trees you can find. They have deep strong roots. They learned they had to strong or the winds and the drought conditions would kill them. These arid trees have to stretch out and work for their water. I want to be an arid tree. I don't want the easy way out, I don't want it all taken care of for me or taken away or to fit in with everyone. I want the character and holiness that God has to offer. I want what ever children God blesses Billy and I with one day to follow the Lord with an alive faith that is strong, can withstand the barrage of this world and truly completes them, to have the real thing. Most of all I pray to see them in heaven one day with us for eternity.
Well, taking the antibiotics last thing before I go to bed has me not waking up until afternoon the next day I found out Friday. Saturday and Sunday found me sleeping most of each day. I took the meds mid-afternoon yesterday and at least I'm at work. Definitely not 100% to which I have some guilt as there is much to be done and not alot of energy from me to get it done. After several discussions between Billy, myself and the doctor and Brooke ( my dear friend who just happens to be a PA and puts up with tons of questions from both of us) we continue to try out different times. The side effects are still leaving me feeling light headed, nauseaous, metallic taste and with pains in my abdomen. They are called metronidazole (twice a day) and levaquin (once a day). That's on top of the acidophulous (Billy's discovery to prevent well.. yeast infections as I'm suspecible to those), daily vitamins and the meds that can possibly help the side effects for nausea and cramping as needed. I know there are people who are worse off and who have to take far more meds and have no end in sight to their daily pain. I thank my Lord every day for my health, that this is temporary. It will all be over by Sunday. I thank Him for a wonderful husband who does the laundry, cleaning, goes to the grocery store and takes wonderful care of me. I hand over to God the guilt I have for not being able to do more for him in the time being.
I felt pretty much out of any loop over the weekend. My contact being with my sweet husband, and a trip over to the Wilson's to watch over the sweetest quietest baby. I took several pics of Billy with Rachel, who is just over 15 months old. It's a sweet moment, seeing him play, read and be tickled over the things she does. He will make an incredible daddy. I couldn't have done it without having Billy with me as I napped over there as well.
Billy also took pics and video Sunday of our nephew Kyle's 6th birthday at the zone. He is such a sweet boy, I was sad to miss it.
I don't even really watch the show, but thought it was cute to see me simpsonized
BTW, I am once again thankful and benefitting from my sweet husband's initiative. He called the dr yesterday with a few questions about being reffered to the GI. It turns out the nurse had instructions for the GI guy to do a colonoscopy. Seems she misunderstood my message on the nurses inbox thinking I had finished my antibiotics and thought I was still hurting. I'm not sure how that would be possible after 6 days on a 14 day script, but they have tons of patients so I guess they didn't put two and two together. A colonoscopy isn't what I need, I was under the impression I was to get a catscan to pinpoint the infection. Billy's always showing me it never hurts to say something. So needless to say, I won't be going to that specialist. I'm to take the antibiotics before I go to bed. So here's praying #1 I'm able to sleep after taking them and that #2 I sleep through the side effects. They said to continue for at least 10 days so this month is out babywise.
Due to the side effects from the antibiotics and not being able to take the meds that would bypass the nausea, metallic taste in my mouth and cramping, I stopped taking them as of Sunday. I got through to day 6 of a 14 day prescription.I also made the decision based on the fact that this is try week. We can not try while I am on the antibiotics. I don't know, I'm trying to exercise self control as much as possible due to feeling cranky, tired and fuzzy headed. Trying to have a baby is like planning a wedding, it can consume your life if you let it and I'm really trying for it not to. The infection from the HSG and now the side effects from the antibiotics doesn't help either. I slept about 11 or 12 hours every day over the long weekend. Last night I went home and laid down. For the most part I slept through to this morning. I woke up about every 3 hours for just long enough to look at the alarm clock, see it wasn't time to get up, roll over and go back to sleep. Despite sleeping so long last night, I'm dragging this morning. I'm not a morning person anyway though, so maybe I just need time to fully wake up.
I'm grateful today for an understanding loving husband, a job to come to and a blog to type out this myriad of convoluted mess that is my mind right now.
I saw a Spiritual Types test, it says I'm a sage.. ( I know that's the name of a cute little girl a friend has and a spice, but none the less, they have labeled me as such) Some of it applies ( I do schedule and organize for a living), some doesn't (details are subjective, depends if I think the detail is important whether I pay attention to it or not), was fun none the less.
You are a Sage, characterized by a thinking or head spirituality. You value responsibility, logic, and order. Maybe that's why you were voted "Most Dependable" by your high school classmates. Structure and organization are important to you. What would the world be like without you? Chaos, that's what! Your favorite words include should, ought, and be prepared. What makes you feel warm and fuzzy? Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof it's tradition! tradition! tradition! Because you love words, written or spoken, you enjoy a good lecture, serious discussions, and theological reflection. Prayer for you usually is verbal. You thrive on activity and gatherings of people, such as study groups. Sages on retreat likely would fill every day with planned activities, leaving little time for silence or solitude.
We need Sages for your clear thinking and orderly ways. You pay attention to details that others overlook. Sages make contributions to education, publishing, and theology. You often are the ones who feel a duty to serve, give, care, and share with the rest of us.
On the other hand, sometimes you seem unfeeling, too intellectual, or dry. Can you say "dogmatic"? You may need to experience the freedom of breaking a rule or two every now and then. God's grace covers Sages too, you know!
I just left a message for my nurses dr asking if there was another kind I could take and/ or what she thought of me stopping prematurely. We shall see...
I knew no good could come from calling the doctor. They referred me to a GI specialist ( same one I went to funny enough this time last year for the Celiac.) My guess from the handful of information I was given so that I can have a catscan and they can pinpoint what exactly is infected.
I saw this on another blog and I'm definitely looking for something to celebrate and be grateful for. (There are tons more listed, I just condensed here). As another lady says it, look around for your sparklies today, things to stop, appreciate and breath in for a moment. Those jewels that make life sweet and special. Today, I appreciate being able to pray with my husband before I left for work, wonderful food left over from yesterday's bbq and scrumptious breakfast, good company with co-workers for lunch and looking forward to going home to spend time with Billy.
Memory Verses
September - Obedience
Week 1 Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. - Ephesians 6:1
Month Long Celebrations American Heritage Month Baby Safety Month Better Breakfast Month Cable TV Month Children's Eye Health and Safety Month Children's Good Manners Month Classical Music Month Fall Hat Month Ice Cream Month Library Card Sign-Up Month National Chicken Month National Courtesy Month National Food Education Safety Month National Honey Month National Mushroom Month National Piano Month National Rice Month National School Success Month National Sewing Month Read-A-New-Book Month Women of Achievement Month
Week Long Celebrations First Week Child Accident Prevention Week
Daily Celebrations 1 - National History Day 2 - National Blueberry Popsicle Day 3 - Skyscraper Day 3 - Uncle Sam's Birthday 3 - Labor Day (First Monday in September) 4 - Newspaper Carrier Day 5 - National Cheese Pizza Day 5 - Be Late for Something Day 6 - Read a Book Day 7 - Neither Rain Nor Snow Day
In May I wrapped up attending a wonderful mentoring program with some of the elder's wives and 10 married women of our generation based on a book called Apples of Gold. I learned a ton of great recipes, listened to years of wisdom on topics from marriage, purity, kindness, etc.. I had very encouraging conversation with ladies I really respect.
May also saw us saying goodbye to dear friends, Debra and Lance as they began full time missionary work in Ukrainian orphanages. Debra and I were room mates several years ago. She and Lance are doing God's work out there and I couldn't be prouder of both of them :-)
We also said goodbye to my sweet grandmother as she went to go be with Jesus. That's me and my sister Leah with Mamaw wow, 25 years ago....that's how I'll always remember her. She loved having us over, taking us to Nieman's, giving gifts. We would watch the Wizard of Oz and Sound of Music on beta and play her Atari, Santa (grandpa Melton) would come every year, big Thanksgiving dinners, and Bingo every year at Christmas.
In July, Billy and I took my nieces to his parents lake house and met up with some friends from New Mexico. Had a great time skiing, cliff jumping and rock climbing.
Leah, my sister and my nephew Mark came to spend a weekend with us :-)
To end July, while Billy was with our niece watching Harry Potter, I took two other of our nieces to a Youth Conference called Illuminate. The conference spoke about sharing your faith and we were able to hear Superchick live, I had loads of fun with them :-)
In August, we had tons of birthdays, my dad's, two brother -in-laws, and my niece
Me with my dad, step-mom and sister
Kenny, my brother-in-law with my nephews Jamee, Stevie and Nicki (they are all so handsome)
Billy's brother Mike and Billy
Labor Day weekend, book ending this trip down pretty recent memory lane, ends with shopping/ lunch with the Veale's (that's them on a trip we went on a couple years ago) and a bbq with some dear friends we don't spend near enough time with the Ullman's & Wilson's.
