Every decision we make, every word we speak, every priority we chose, every thing we do brings us closer or farther away from intimacy with God. Our reasons behind our choices reflect much of where our heart is rooted. Are my reasons self centered, culture influenced, spoiled, pampered, indulged based on God planting me in a currently still comfortable country? Do the phrases "what does it hurt?", "it's not that bad" or "they are doing much worse" really the motivating guides for our paths? Or am I concerned with God and His purposes, plans and goals?
I've been thinking quite a bit about the pillars of faith to focus on and pass to our children. Chapter 6 in the book "Missions of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson talks about the teaching side of being a mother and although she is a homeschooling mom, that's not really what she's talking about here. This chapter has hit such a note with me that I've been praying, thinking and dwelling on this topic for the last couple of weeks. This aspect of motherhood, in my opinion, is what I've been searching for. It's the heart of passing on genuine-true- living- giving grace- knowing God- forgiving others- striving for Holiness-plugged in to the power of the Holy Spirit- giving of ourselves- all in- passionate faith. Teaching the heart, reaching it, cherishing it and connecting our faith with real life. THAT is the faith I want to pass on to my children.
I'm going to strive to convey why the topic of teaching faith has struck such a deep chord in my heart. Quite simply, I don't know what that looks like. I think it's relevant and respectful to mention here that I wasn't raised with a relationship with God and everything that entails. I remember my family going to church twice as a child. I spoke rote prayers infrequently around the dinner table that I did not understand. I remember crying at night afraid to go to sleep because I didn't know what would happen to me if I died in my sleep. Don't get me wrong, I was raised with morals and caring parents who did the best they could with what they had to love and provide for me and my 3 siblings. To know me before God changed my life and now is to understand the power of God's ability to soften a heart, heal hurts and give His strength. Everything I have become is due to the change in my soul that came from God's love in my life and heart. I came to learn about Christ when I was 16 and felt His patience and true love when 10 years later I really started to embrace and fully accept Him not only as my Savior but the Lord of my life. I have felt since then as though I'm playing catch up with all of those raised more closely in the faith. I've come to realize that's a matter of spiritual warfare. God grows each of us in His time and in His way for His glory. It's not about me and my maturity or my growth. God meets each of us exactly where we are at and when we call to him, He will answer us and tell us great and unsearchable things we do not know. (Jeremiah 33:3)
Every mother is going to pass on what we think and what we are to our children. It's not just in the moments of correction, training, teaching and sharing. It's our life, priorities and decisions observed by our children. Our tone of voice, our words, our body language, our respect for others, what we say about people when they aren't around, integrity, honesty, purity, hard work, compassion, our choices of entertainment, how we chose to use our gifts, time and money and on and on. After reading through Judges, I was convicted to think what if the one thing I'm lackadaisical about is the Achilles heal for my children? While I know and trust God with my children's faith walk, I also am called not to be a stumbling block in their faith. I am called to handle my stuff, to grow and mature, to provide for my children's best well being spiritually. We are their model for adulthood in bright neon letters up close in their face not to be ignored. Long gone are the days of 'Do as I say and not as I do" A child can see through hipocracy, inconsistency, falseness, superficiality and lip service in a heart beat especially when we don't practice what we preach.
So what's our motivation? What and who is our inspiration? Who is earning our loyalty to define ourselves? Whose goals and dreams are modeling after? What influences are we focusing on? What are we filling our ears and eyes with??
My faith and belief in who God is, what He wants for my life and my purpose on this planet should effect my choices. That includes areas of entertainment with music, movies, internet (facebook, pinterest, email, blogs, twitter) television, books, iphone games. I get the feeling, from myself at times as well as others, that we feel these pleasant luxuries are somehow laced in to our inalienable rights. We want some down time, fun and laziness- spiritually, mentally and physically. If I'm relying on my own strength or the strength of anything else outside of God, absolutely that would be 'needed'. If this life was all about me and my wants, then yes, put anything out there on social media that you want, no matter what it reflects because like it or not, we are ambassadors for Christ in this alien planet. This is NOT our home. This isn't the end, this isn't the goal, we haven't reached our prize. We have a job to do and HE will give us the strength to use any resource man comes up with to shout the love, grace, holiness and power of God to every one we possibly can. Do it with love, do it with relationships in mind, do it subtly or out loud, do it quietly in prayer over the things you see, but do it. Encourage others, offer to help someone who expresses they are struggling or having a bad day. Do something with what you see and read online from friends. Be the feet and arms of Jesus. Use that to love people better.
The temptation to place the blame on our culture, ( I do this quite a bit- that blame shifting we are so good at instead of confessing real sin) to detach and walk away from it all still won't solve the problem in my own heart. The things will never be the problem. Yes, there are temptations to portray our lives, relationships, activities, personalities and morals better than they actually are. Social media can be a huge breeding ground for comparing, feeling left out and not good enough. I could deactivate my facebook account, take the blog sites down, get rid of the phone, tv and music and I'd still be left with the root of the problem and that's me. My selfishness and lack of being rooted in Christ's Holy word won't be solved by looking down my nose at those avenues or those who participate in them.
So, do we believe this in our hearts that God's word is alive, relevant and part of every decision we make in this world???
"2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
That includes every area of our lives, it's all interconnected. It all belongs to God!
The areas of teaching children Sally talks about are....
1. Law and Morality: Right from Wrong- using teachable moments to draw myself and my children back to God's word. ( I believe lots of people, myself included, only do this one for most of the time)
2. Biblical Literacy: Scripture- daily reading. Knowing the facts and seeing God's love in each story.
Bible devotion time: ARTS A-Ask a simple question about the passage before reading the story.
R- Read the passage enthusiastically and with interest.
T-Talk about the passage (give background, ask kids what it mean to them, how the people acted in the story or what God was trying to communicate)
S-Supplication. Close the time by praying together to apply what you've studied together.
(I'll add more thoughts as I continue through the Chapter)
3. Theology: Teaching the Knowledge of God- "The degree to which our children can comprehend the holiness, sovereignty, omniscience, omnipotence, and redemptive love of our heavenly Father will determine the depth of their faith and devotion to him."
"Authentic faith.... is lived as though God had called them specifically to himself to accomplish great things for him during their short lives."
"Rather than use lofty formal language to address God or use our prayer time to give him a shopping list of what we want him to do, we address him as someone with whom we have a close, trusting, respectful relationship."
4. Wisdom: Teaching God's Point of View. "Wisdom refers to both the practical insight or knowledge and discernment about how to make decision. In the biblical sense, being wise mean understanding God's point of view about daily life and the whole scope of the universe and learning to live and act according to his perspective. In one sense, this wisdom cannot be taught; it is something that grows with maturity and experience. "
"The heart of the gospel is a series of wisdom principles that are completely counter intuitive, even preposterous or scandalous in the world's eyes.... losing ourselves to find ourselves. Going last to be first. Leading by serving. Dying in order to live."
5. Faith: Teaching trust in God's reality and reliability- Talk about God. Deuteronomy 6:6-9
" When we know God's moral laws, understand basic biblical theology, and have a grasp of the wisdom principles of Scripture, then we have a foundational basis upon which to act in faith. Faith is not a matter of mindlessly believing in God. It is believing him because of the soundness of the foundations he provides in our lives."
"Faith's certainly not a matter of checking our minds at the door and refusing to think. Rather, it is a commitment of our wills to trust God with our lives, based on the inherent value of his domain and creation, and the astuteness of his wisdom. It is a personal decision we make based on our trust in the validity of these things- not a feeling that we drum up. This faith will lead us through the dark times when there is no feeling and the ecstatic times when God seems very close. "
Our Anniversary
Showing posts with label Mission of Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mission of Motherhood. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Mission of Motherhood
This last month there have been several opportunities to talk about being a mommy. Mother's Day, Time article on Parenting and I've started a book called Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. We're also making educational decisions for the fall, experiencing new milestones and reminiscing over the end of the school year. This first year of preschool has been such a precious special time with Matthew and I am so thankful for how we have walked through this year. I have both witnessed and participated in some earnest parenting discussions. Some were positive, passionate, focused and biblical, a couple were not. The more people that we share ideas with, the more likely that what ever we are opposed, have a negative opinion of, aren't well versed in regarding or are allowing previous perceptions, limited exposure and fears cloud what is positive for one family, we hurts others with our negativity.
Motherhood for many women is taken very seriously thankfully. I whole heartily believe we need to be intentional, committed and enthusiastic in the direction God is leading individual families. It's going too far, when we have to insult, condemn or attack someone else's parenting style. We chose to see only the pitfalls, the extremes or our fears. God's will is different in each family, we are not made to be cookie cutter- systematic- representation of a flat God.
I'm on Chapter 4 of this book and it's been just the refreshment and encouragement I have been needing. I'm so thankful God has lead me to the these ideas not only honoring and encouraging traditional motherhood roles, but also in keeping with our priorities of God first, then our spouse, then our children. Our children can not be our idols. They are not made to bear the burden, pressure and unrealistic expectations to prop us up and give us our self worth, identity or fulfillment. By the same token, they are our first and most important disciples. We are charged to be be good stewards over these incredible human beings God has entrusted us to raise.
Introduction- Hearts and Hands, highlight for me....page 3. "the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It's up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers' hands as instruments of his blessings."
Chapter 1- A Journey like no Other, highlights for me ...bottom of 13 to top of pg 14. "Through our teaching and influence, morality can be learned and modeled, love and kindness are taught and received, purpose and vision are ignited and passed on.
The real ability of a mother to secure such a spiritual legacy is based on the strength of her relationship with her child. As we tenderly care for our children, meeting their needs, teaching them and guiding them, praying for them and modeling our faith, we are also anchoring their hearts to our home, our values, and our beliefs. These ties are built over a period of many years, through the small ways we spend the minutes of our days and large ways in which we celebrate the momentous events of our lives.
The mother who reaches the heartfelt needs of her children by helping them feel loved and secure, by believing in their dreams, by noticing when they stray and gently steering them back in the right direction, and by teaching them what they need to know to live full and meaningful lives accomplishes a great work for the Lord.
As I have thought about these issues for many years, I have come to picture the heart of each child as a treasure chest. Each chest is empty and needs to be filled with the riches of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and the emotional heritage of family and traditions; with mental stimulation that comes from excellent sources of truth, morality and inspiration; with a sense of physical and emotional security; and with guidelines for all of life, including purpose, relationships and proper behavior. "
Chapter 2- Beautiful by Design, highlights for me ...page 21. "Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity."
page 29. "As a free- spirited person who generally thinks outside the box, I have found deep fulfillment and satisfaction in exercising my gifts, strengths, and personality to bless my family, neighbors, and friends from the strength of my home. Establishing my house-hold as a place in which the greatness of God and a devotion to him is lived out each day has given me focus. Loving my children and nurturing their hearts and minds while training their characters and leading them to know the Lord and his purposes has satisfied my soul's need for purpose...the common purpose for all women is to glorify God in whatever circumstances and boundaries of life we find ourselves, trusting him to show us how we can best use our gifts. "
and page 34 " Because children are not considered important enough to occupy the lion's share of a mother's time.....the responsibility of instilling morality, conscience, intellect, emotional stability and spiritual understanding is relegated to day care, teachers and schools, the media (especially television) and peers. Emotionally, spiritually, and often physically as well, children tend to be left to their own devices- left to flounder for love, purpose, and meaning in a culture that values time, efficiency, and measured productivity above the real needs of a human being. Consequently, children feel exploited and demoralized and act out their frustration in numerous negative ways....With out a strong supportive structure for passing down righteousness, the morals of the culture become relative to the personal fulfillment of those within the culture. "
Chapter 3- The Undivided Heart, highlights for me ...pg 42. "It's (motherhood) as absorbing task that demands all the resources God has given us- our physical energy, our intellectual abilities, our creative gifts- and involves powerful emotion attachments as well. page 43 "Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults.... Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching. "
This thought through pages 44 and 45 "I spent much of my mental energy thinking about when I would have more time for myself and my own interests.... my commitment to motherhood verses my lurking desire to have life my own way... I needed to nurture my children with my songs, my words and my physical labor, treating each day as sacred in their development toward becoming healthy, mature adults."
Page 46 "What we have gained in lifestyle options and material goods we have lost in terms of time, flexibility, peace and personal attention."
page 49 "embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength and training, but fulfills a part of God's design. Loving my children, protecting them, and building them into a godly heritage is a life's work worth far more than any money or status I might find in a career. If the mother who gave her children life is not willing to do what it takes to provide security, love, protection, instruction, and stability for her own children, when who will be willing to do so?"
page 51- "In the absence of biblical convictions, people will go the way of the culture. Without biblical conviction, the tendency is to blindly accept the norms or standards of the people with whom we spend time. That means we can allow the media and our peers to shape our ideas about motherhood and family instead of basing our decisions on the eternal truths of scripture."
page 53 "To fully experience our fulfillment in Christ and fulfill his will in our lives, we must come to the point where we give our whole selves to him- our freedom, our time, our bodies, all our possessions and gifts- trusting him to show us how to use all the we are for his glory. "
page 54 "How do we make the commitment to give the area of motherhood over to God as a sacrifice of worship to him? We yield our personal rights into his hands. We give up our time and expectations to him- and also our fears and worries about how we will manage. We trust him to take care of us and our family. We let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams. And we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing the he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him. "
Chapter 4- The Servant Mother, highlights for me....page 63 "I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught. It is certainly important to grasp the great calling of motherhood and respond to a vision for what a family can be. But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts. If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant's heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life."
and page 66 is what I just read yesterday...."When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others. When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives. them. As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to others as well. As they watch us extend hospitality, care of others, and pray for them, they learn to make service part of their life. As they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well. Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives."
Motherhood for many women is taken very seriously thankfully. I whole heartily believe we need to be intentional, committed and enthusiastic in the direction God is leading individual families. It's going too far, when we have to insult, condemn or attack someone else's parenting style. We chose to see only the pitfalls, the extremes or our fears. God's will is different in each family, we are not made to be cookie cutter- systematic- representation of a flat God.
I'm on Chapter 4 of this book and it's been just the refreshment and encouragement I have been needing. I'm so thankful God has lead me to the these ideas not only honoring and encouraging traditional motherhood roles, but also in keeping with our priorities of God first, then our spouse, then our children. Our children can not be our idols. They are not made to bear the burden, pressure and unrealistic expectations to prop us up and give us our self worth, identity or fulfillment. By the same token, they are our first and most important disciples. We are charged to be be good stewards over these incredible human beings God has entrusted us to raise.
Introduction- Hearts and Hands, highlight for me....page 3. "the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It's up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers' hands as instruments of his blessings."
Chapter 1- A Journey like no Other, highlights for me ...bottom of 13 to top of pg 14. "Through our teaching and influence, morality can be learned and modeled, love and kindness are taught and received, purpose and vision are ignited and passed on.
The real ability of a mother to secure such a spiritual legacy is based on the strength of her relationship with her child. As we tenderly care for our children, meeting their needs, teaching them and guiding them, praying for them and modeling our faith, we are also anchoring their hearts to our home, our values, and our beliefs. These ties are built over a period of many years, through the small ways we spend the minutes of our days and large ways in which we celebrate the momentous events of our lives.
The mother who reaches the heartfelt needs of her children by helping them feel loved and secure, by believing in their dreams, by noticing when they stray and gently steering them back in the right direction, and by teaching them what they need to know to live full and meaningful lives accomplishes a great work for the Lord.
As I have thought about these issues for many years, I have come to picture the heart of each child as a treasure chest. Each chest is empty and needs to be filled with the riches of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and the emotional heritage of family and traditions; with mental stimulation that comes from excellent sources of truth, morality and inspiration; with a sense of physical and emotional security; and with guidelines for all of life, including purpose, relationships and proper behavior. "
Chapter 2- Beautiful by Design, highlights for me ...page 21. "Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity."
page 29. "As a free- spirited person who generally thinks outside the box, I have found deep fulfillment and satisfaction in exercising my gifts, strengths, and personality to bless my family, neighbors, and friends from the strength of my home. Establishing my house-hold as a place in which the greatness of God and a devotion to him is lived out each day has given me focus. Loving my children and nurturing their hearts and minds while training their characters and leading them to know the Lord and his purposes has satisfied my soul's need for purpose...the common purpose for all women is to glorify God in whatever circumstances and boundaries of life we find ourselves, trusting him to show us how we can best use our gifts. "
and page 34 " Because children are not considered important enough to occupy the lion's share of a mother's time.....the responsibility of instilling morality, conscience, intellect, emotional stability and spiritual understanding is relegated to day care, teachers and schools, the media (especially television) and peers. Emotionally, spiritually, and often physically as well, children tend to be left to their own devices- left to flounder for love, purpose, and meaning in a culture that values time, efficiency, and measured productivity above the real needs of a human being. Consequently, children feel exploited and demoralized and act out their frustration in numerous negative ways....With out a strong supportive structure for passing down righteousness, the morals of the culture become relative to the personal fulfillment of those within the culture. "
Chapter 3- The Undivided Heart, highlights for me ...pg 42. "It's (motherhood) as absorbing task that demands all the resources God has given us- our physical energy, our intellectual abilities, our creative gifts- and involves powerful emotion attachments as well. page 43 "Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults.... Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching. "
This thought through pages 44 and 45 "I spent much of my mental energy thinking about when I would have more time for myself and my own interests.... my commitment to motherhood verses my lurking desire to have life my own way... I needed to nurture my children with my songs, my words and my physical labor, treating each day as sacred in their development toward becoming healthy, mature adults."
Page 46 "What we have gained in lifestyle options and material goods we have lost in terms of time, flexibility, peace and personal attention."
page 49 "embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength and training, but fulfills a part of God's design. Loving my children, protecting them, and building them into a godly heritage is a life's work worth far more than any money or status I might find in a career. If the mother who gave her children life is not willing to do what it takes to provide security, love, protection, instruction, and stability for her own children, when who will be willing to do so?"
page 51- "In the absence of biblical convictions, people will go the way of the culture. Without biblical conviction, the tendency is to blindly accept the norms or standards of the people with whom we spend time. That means we can allow the media and our peers to shape our ideas about motherhood and family instead of basing our decisions on the eternal truths of scripture."
page 53 "To fully experience our fulfillment in Christ and fulfill his will in our lives, we must come to the point where we give our whole selves to him- our freedom, our time, our bodies, all our possessions and gifts- trusting him to show us how to use all the we are for his glory. "
page 54 "How do we make the commitment to give the area of motherhood over to God as a sacrifice of worship to him? We yield our personal rights into his hands. We give up our time and expectations to him- and also our fears and worries about how we will manage. We trust him to take care of us and our family. We let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams. And we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing the he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him. "
Chapter 4- The Servant Mother, highlights for me....page 63 "I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught. It is certainly important to grasp the great calling of motherhood and respond to a vision for what a family can be. But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts. If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant's heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life."
and page 66 is what I just read yesterday...."When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others. When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives. them. As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to others as well. As they watch us extend hospitality, care of others, and pray for them, they learn to make service part of their life. As they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well. Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives."
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