My Sister's Keeper

I recoiled the first time I saw the trailer for this movie. My family and I lived out having a sick child. We watched her fight, to live life on her terms for as long as she was able. We all felt the shock, fragility of life and the efforts to move forward after she passed away.

Never say never.... Car rides bother me so much as well as the heat so making the 2 round family round trip to the cemetery wasn't in the best interest of Matthew. In the last couple of days the idea of watching this movie today began to feel the perfect way to recognize the day my sister Lisa left this earth. It was moving, real and I needed the box of tissues I took with me.

I'm blessed to have had 31 years with her. I'm a better person for having her in my life. She will always be in my heart. Matthew won't know the force his aunt was , but we'll tell him.
A few memories to preserve here, some are better quality than others.

Healing Grace

I've been keeping up with a study my old church is doing and wanted to pass this on. We live in such a work/ achievement based society. It's easy for me to fall in to the "servant" instead of being the "child".

When Devadas came next to see me, he was visibly excited. “Until Sunday I never realized that I have been literally living up to my name — ‘servant of God.’ I have been thinking and feeling and living not like a family member should, but like a servant does.” Since everyone in India clearly understands the difference between the two, I said to him, “Devadas, let’s do some role playing. You be the servant in the family, and I’ll be the son. Let’s live out a day in their lives, from morning to bedtime, and see what the differences are.” He agreed. Before long we were really into it, putting into words the wide difference between our roles.

The servant is accepted and appreciated on the basis of what he does, the child on the basis of who he is.

The servant starts the day anxious and worried, wondering if his work will really please his master. The child rests in the secure love of his family.

The servant is accepted because of his workmanship, the son or daughter because of a relationship.

The servant is accepted because of his productivity and performance. The child belongs because of his position as a person.

At the end of the day, the servant has peace of mind only if he is sure he has proven his worth by his work. The next morning his anxiety begins again. The child can be secure all day, and know that tomorrow won’t change his status.

When a servant fails, his whole position is at stake; he might lose his job. When a child fails, he will be grieved because he has hurt his parents, and he will be corrected and disciplined. But he is not afraid of being thrown out. His basic confidence is in belonging and being loved, and his performance does not change the stability of his position.

Healing Grace, pg. 22-23

Week 23

I see I have given away my schedule which keeps me accountable to my monthly tummy pic taken on July 6th.



My sister and SIL have both called asking where the pic is. To answer some questions: I have gained 18 pounds and 12 inches in my waist. My hair is curly more often that not these days because it's just less work. His movements are getting stronger. Billy has been able to feel it faintly once, which was really neat to see. I've been reading to Matthew every day as well as playing jazz, classical and kids praise music for him. I really like this book & CD combo called "100 Ways to Know God Loves Me". There are 100 lessons with a short children's song to go with each lesson. I almost never have a carbonated beverage anyway, but had a sip the other day and he get very energetic for several minutes. I also felt him have the hiccups which was the neatest feeling. I feel his movements the most when I sit reclined with a pillow in the small of my back. I keep car rides short due to the back discomfort and Billy is usually the one driving. A suprise has been my reaction to the heat. I was born and raised in the DFW area and have always preffered summertime. This year I seem less tolerant to it. As long as I stay cool, get plenty of rest and fluids, the cramping/ contractions are under control.

4th of July

Billy's parents volunteered to make the 8 hour drive to come see us. They had tried during my first trimester but the nausea was pretty bad. It's so kind of them to make all of that effort just to spend some time with us. Looking forward to them coming in October for one of our baby showers and see our niece Sydney in a play.

In reverse order of course because that's how blogger loads...

Playing a game of cranium:

Papa and our nephew Kyle playing chutes and ladders

Nana making food, which she did quite a bit of as well as cleaning. I could get spoiled having her around.

Watching fireworks from our backyard. We preferred this method to fighting traffic.

The kids with sparklers:

Going to what is now our family restaurant, Babe's

BIL Mike, nephew Kyle, SIL Teresa & niece Sydney: Teresa was a big help buying and working on trim for the nursery bedding. I have such a good time hanging out with her.


FIL Bill & MIL Alice:

On the 3rd we went Billy's uncle Benny and aunt Arlene's in Petty, TX and met up with their cousin Taylor. Petty is just outside Paris about an hour and a half NW of Dallas.

It was very peaceful, and a bit hot. The drive wore me and Matthew out a bit and we napped when we got there. After that, we had a fish fry.


The men did some target practice. Billy, brother Mike, cousin Taylor:

Papa and Kyle fishing:

The golf cart was a big hit with the kids. Here is Kyle driving with his dad:
Sydney taking a turn. The kids couldn't go alone so I took a spin with her and she was a good driver.

Billy and I:

The kids took turns out on the paddle boat as well. What a peaceful day....