This last month there have been several opportunities to talk about being a mommy. Mother's Day, Time article on Parenting and I've started a book called Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. We're also making educational decisions for the fall, experiencing new milestones and reminiscing over the end of the school year. This first year of preschool has been such a precious special time with Matthew and I am so thankful for how we have walked through this year. I have both witnessed and participated in some earnest parenting discussions. Some were positive, passionate, focused and biblical, a couple were not. The more people that we share ideas with, the more likely that what ever we are opposed, have a negative opinion of, aren't well versed in regarding or are allowing previous perceptions, limited exposure and fears cloud what is positive for one family, we hurts others with our negativity.
Motherhood for many women is taken very seriously thankfully. I whole heartily believe we need to be intentional, committed and enthusiastic in the direction God is leading individual families. It's going too far, when we have to insult, condemn or attack someone else's parenting style. We chose to see only the pitfalls, the extremes or our fears. God's will is different in each family, we are not made to be cookie cutter- systematic- representation of a flat God.
I'm on Chapter 4 of this book and it's been just the refreshment and encouragement I have been needing. I'm so thankful God has lead me to the these ideas not only honoring and encouraging traditional motherhood roles, but also in keeping with our priorities of God first, then our spouse, then our children. Our children can not be our idols. They are not made to bear the burden, pressure and unrealistic expectations to prop us up and give us our self worth, identity or fulfillment. By the same token, they are our first and most important disciples. We are charged to be be good stewards over these incredible human beings God has entrusted us to raise.
Introduction- Hearts and Hands, highlight for me....page 3. "the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It's up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers' hands as instruments of his blessings."
Chapter 1- A Journey like no Other, highlights for me ...bottom of 13 to top of pg 14. "Through our teaching and influence, morality can be learned and modeled, love and kindness are taught and received, purpose and vision are ignited and passed on.
The real ability of a mother to secure such a spiritual legacy is based on the strength of her relationship with her child. As we tenderly care for our children, meeting their needs, teaching them and guiding them, praying for them and modeling our faith, we are also anchoring their hearts to our home, our values, and our beliefs. These ties are built over a period of many years, through the small ways we spend the minutes of our days and large ways in which we celebrate the momentous events of our lives.
The mother who reaches the heartfelt needs of her children by helping them feel loved and secure, by believing in their dreams, by noticing when they stray and gently steering them back in the right direction, and by teaching them what they need to know to live full and meaningful lives accomplishes a great work for the Lord.
As I have thought about these issues for many years, I have come to picture the heart of each child as a treasure chest. Each chest is empty and needs to be filled with the riches of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and the emotional heritage of family and traditions; with mental stimulation that comes from excellent sources of truth, morality and inspiration; with a sense of physical and emotional security; and with guidelines for all of life, including purpose, relationships and proper behavior. "
Chapter 2- Beautiful by Design, highlights for me ...page 21. "Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity."
page 29. "As a free- spirited person who generally thinks outside the box, I have found deep fulfillment and satisfaction in exercising my gifts, strengths, and personality to bless my family, neighbors, and friends from the strength of my home. Establishing my house-hold as a place in which the greatness of God and a devotion to him is lived out each day has given me focus. Loving my children and nurturing their hearts and minds while training their characters and leading them to know the Lord and his purposes has satisfied my soul's need for purpose...the common purpose for all women is to glorify God in whatever circumstances and boundaries of life we find ourselves, trusting him to show us how we can best use our gifts. "
and page 34 " Because children are not considered important enough to occupy the lion's share of a mother's time.....the responsibility of instilling morality, conscience, intellect, emotional stability and spiritual understanding is relegated to day care, teachers and schools, the media (especially television) and peers. Emotionally, spiritually, and often physically as well, children tend to be left to their own devices- left to flounder for love, purpose, and meaning in a culture that values time, efficiency, and measured productivity above the real needs of a human being. Consequently, children feel exploited and demoralized and act out their frustration in numerous negative ways....With out a strong supportive structure for passing down righteousness, the morals of the culture become relative to the personal fulfillment of those within the culture. "
Chapter 3- The Undivided Heart, highlights for me ...pg 42. "It's (motherhood) as absorbing task that demands all the resources God has given us- our physical energy, our intellectual abilities, our creative gifts- and involves powerful emotion attachments as well. page 43 "Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults.... Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching. "
This thought through pages 44 and 45 "I spent much of my mental energy thinking about when I would have more time for myself and my own interests.... my commitment to motherhood verses my lurking desire to have life my own way... I needed to nurture my children with my songs, my words and my physical labor, treating each day as sacred in their development toward becoming healthy, mature adults."
Page 46 "What we have gained in lifestyle options and material goods we have lost in terms of time, flexibility, peace and personal attention."
page 49 "embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength and training, but fulfills a part of God's design. Loving my children, protecting them, and building them into a godly heritage is a life's work worth far more than any money or status I might find in a career. If the mother who gave her children life is not willing to do what it takes to provide security, love, protection, instruction, and stability for her own children, when who will be willing to do so?"
page 51- "In the absence of biblical convictions, people will go the way of the culture. Without biblical conviction, the tendency is to blindly accept the norms or standards of the people with whom we spend time. That means we can allow the media and our peers to shape our ideas about motherhood and family instead of basing our decisions on the eternal truths of scripture."
page 53 "To fully experience our fulfillment in Christ and fulfill his will in our lives, we must come to the point where we give our whole selves to him- our freedom, our time, our bodies, all our possessions and gifts- trusting him to show us how to use all the we are for his glory. "
page 54 "How do we make the commitment to give the area of motherhood over to God as a sacrifice of worship to him? We yield our personal rights into his hands. We give up our time and expectations to him- and also our fears and worries about how we will manage. We trust him to take care of us and our family. We let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams. And we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing the he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him. "
Chapter 4- The Servant Mother, highlights for me...
.page 63 "I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught. It is certainly important to grasp the great calling of motherhood and respond to a vision for what a family can be. But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts. If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant's heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life."
and page 66 is what I just read yesterday...."When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others. When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives. them. As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to others as well. As they watch us extend hospitality, care of others, and pray for them, they learn to make service part of their life. As they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well. Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives."
