Celiac 101

I have this resource of information about Celiac I share with those new to the condition. I had Billy reread it before sending out an updated version this week for a friend of a friend and he suggested I post it here, so here goes:

I've had Celiac for two years now and I'm happy to help anyone to adjust to this lifestyle change. This information is based on my experience and opinions over that time. Please ask what ever questions you would like, I will help in any way I can. Food is such an every day part of life and such a social point of interaction as well. I know some of it was frustrating in the beginning just trying to order and buy food.

1. What to avoid: No wheat, rye, barley and oats. Oats is a controversial one. You'll find on some websites stating to avoid it and other's say it's fine. I avoid it Oats unless it says Gluten Free on the packaging. Avoid ingredients such as artificial flavors, malt flavoring, modified food starch, as well as cottonseed oil on the package labels. Modified food starch can be corn or wheat based, so if it doesn't specify I pass. Be careful of soups, sauces, dressings and pre-packaged foods. Gluten is a very common thickener, preservative and binder in foods you would not think would have them. The most common foods to avoid are bread, pasta, as well as flour based tortillas, pastries and deserts. Gluten can also be found in personal care products.

2. Grocery shopping: I'll cover both the economic as well as the great treats that are a little more costly. Wal-Mart is getting very good about stating on the back of their products if it is gluten free (gf). I started out with that approach and then learned how to read ingredient labels so it wasn't so overwhelming as to what look out for in regular foods. Food labels do state the 8 most common food allergies on their labels per the law. You can read about it here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/food-allergies/AA00057. I carry around a pocket size dictionary guide from the Canadian Celiac Association that tells the 'Acceptability of Foods and Food Ingredients for the Gluten-Free Diet.' In order to still be able to more fully utilize Wal-mart and other more affordable grocery stores, educate yourself on the food labels. You can still buy quite a bit by knowing what to avoid. Shop mainly on the outside of the store at first with the fresh meat and vegetables. Avoid the cracker, cookie and bread aisles, there's nothing there for you. Some items I can still buy at Wal-mart include Cocoa Pebbles, Ranch brand dressing, Dinte Moore beef stew, a few Progresso soups, a few banquet tv dinners, Frito's, cool ranch Doritoes, and Tostito's brand tortilla chips. Several manufacturer's state which products are gluten free on their websites. Bookmark and check regularly to make sure they haven't changed their recipe.

Sprouts has the largest selection of gf specific foods. Pamela's, Glutino, EnviroKidz, Mrs. Leepers, Mi-Del, Bob's Red Mill, Ener-G and Larabar's are some of the most common labels in my pantry. Health Valley and Cherrybrook Kitchen have some very tasty gluten free items available. They taste great too! Wal-mart does not carry these brands, Target sometimes does if you ever grocery shop there, as well as I've noticed the Signature Kroger's have a growing section of gf items. The gf substitutes are usually 2 to 3 times the price compared to their mainstream counterpart. It is more expensive to buy gf, it's a smaller market and for example for every cup of all purpose flour, they have to combine about 3 alternative flours, plus gf binders to achieve a similar taste and texture.

3. Cooking: Easy food I do at least once a month at home is chicken stew. Chicken breasts, carrots, celery with Swanson chicken broth ( the bullion cubes have gluten, so those are a no). In the crock pot with seasonings (most dried ones that come in the racks are fine). Crock-pot, add potatoes the last hour, hearty, healthy and cheap. We eat on it for days. You can change normal flour recipes fairly easy by substituting Pamela's Baking Mix. I do much more cooking from home now since I can control what goes in my food and that gives me a huge peace of mind. I make lasagna and just getting rice or corn noodles, everything else is fine. Check your sauce, traditional or Meat Ragu is acceptable. I make my own bread from scratch after trying several both frozen and shelf labels that I only ate due to how much money I had spent to buy them. I have a high sensitivity level to any contamination so my husband (who isn't a celiac) and I use separate condiment containers unless it's a squeeze bottle. This prevents bread crumbs in the butter, peanut butter or jelly containers. When I cook something that contains gluten I do so after I have cooked mine to avoid contamination through the pans.

4. Eating out: A restaurant I can't say enough good things about and is comparable to a Bennigan's price wise is called Delicious 'N Fit or a.k.a Laura's Bistro in Plano. There website is http://www.delicious-n-fit.com/. They cater to people with food intolerance and allergies. You can eat chicken fried steak, gravy, a hamburger, pizza and it's all gf. They also have a small gf store and bakery. Pei wei, PF Changs, Outback Steakhouse, Maggiano's, Carrabba's, Carino's and Chili's all have gluten free menus. Macaroni Grill was very helpful in ordering when I went there for my husband and Chipotle is really easy as long as you skip the flour tortilla. When we started eating out at other places, we'd go earlier than their rush time so we could ask all the questions we wanted until I was comfortable and felt safe to eat there. At nice places, I've had the kitchen manager or chef come out and talk to me if they didn't have a separate menu. Also on the eating out, super simple place is McDonald's for convenience. I know I wasn't a fan as an adult, but I can go in and order a burger without a bun, and their fries are gf.Some fast food places fry breaded items in their oil thus contaminating the fries cooked in the oil. Chik-fil-a you can get a grilled chicken sandwich with no bun and their fries are safe too. Most soup and salad bars or sub shops you can at least have a salad with no croûtons, check the dressings and a baked potatoes.

5. Health Information:. Most people are lactose intolerant for the first six months to a year. This is due to the damage done to the small intestines from the gluten which is where lactose is absorbed. I did lactose free milk and eased up on the cheese and other dairy products until that was healed. I have to say this because I wish someone had told me in the beginning, rice is a very common substitution in this gf life. Between that particular additional starch and not getting in wheat which is high in fiber, it can lead to issues. I sprinkle Benefiber brand fiber on my food either while it's cooking or afterwards about once a day. This diet change is very hard on your system. Adjusting to less fiber can be quite painful if you don't do something. The benefiber is odorless, tasteless and no texture. I also started taking acidophilus once a day as well as the Dan Active probiotics drinks. My doctor agreed they were both a good idea as they help with digestive health. Down the road your doctor will will want to check your vitamin levels to see what your body is absorbing as malnutrition is a common side effect of Celiac.

6. Resources: There is a Dallas chapter of the GIG (Gluten Intolerance Group) that meets downtown Dallas. I went once just for the Introduction session to learn more, too far for me to drive on a regular basis. I am on their mailing list which has been beneficial. Their emails are pretty frequent. Celiac.com had some good information and food you can order online. I keep meaning to sign up for the gf cooking classes at Market Street, I've heard good things about them. I read quite a few gluten free blogs for recipes and information. You can google gluten free blog and find several. I use a cookbook called 'Incredible Edible Gluten-Free Food for Kids'. I chose this book because it contains the most common every day foods

Economy

Thought I posted this... found it still in my drafts today 11/4/08

NOTICE: This post is an editorial. This entry has been in the works for a bit which might in part explain its length. I don't have to convince myself not many people will read and that's okay. I leave you with this as we unhook the computer and move:

I've had some thoughts on the economy lately which isn't normally an area that provokes me to deeper thought. For instance, Billy pays our bills as dealing with money on a day to day basis stresses me out and I express my appreciation for how he handles that area of our lives as often as I can. Normally I tend to be one of those people that if I can't change it, I don't stress about it. Everyone has their opinions on what the problems are with the nation's economy and how to fix them so I'll throw mine there in the heap. The opinion I'm about to share made quite a bit of sense to me as someone who struggles with perfectionism.

The economy is like it is because we are all living a lie. Pretty strong stuff I know, but something about this idea kicked in with me on a deeper level. The view point being offered is as Americans we buy houses, go on vacations, accumulate toys, keep up with the latest fashions while putting these things on credit that we can't afford because we want to maintain an image. Whether it's a comfort shopping spree or an addiction that you turn to when down, maintaining an image is all about appearance. To me this process is another way of saying I want to be perfect or at least successful, wise, someone of worth. Also it says I'm not happy enough and feel strong enough about how God made me to just relax and be who I am.

In my humble opinion, we buy things we can't afford for many reasons, topping the list of justifications is we feel we are due these material items. We buy in to the marketing of "you deserve it", "you're worth it". We aren't victims of this marketing campaign, we choose to buy in to the theory. It's the same way Americans twisting the rights spoken about with respect and maturity in our historic government founding documents. We can sound more like rebellious teenagers somehow feeling constrained and victimized by rules and regulations needed to have a functional society. So we rail that everything costs so much but continue to buy it because we 'have to' have it.

If you've wisely saved and can in fact afford to pay for things without going in to debt this doesn't apply to you. What does it mean to afford it? Not stressing your budget, can still afford to save? That alone is where it's a subjective definition. Some may feel as though they are surviving and that's enough. For those who can't truly afford these things, they feel entitled to them anyway or maybe convince themselves they need them to feel worthwhile. So they over extend themselves with credit cards, the outrageous ARM's (adjustable rate mortgages) that is the bane of the sub prime mortgage fiasco and find themselves now leveraged to the hilt. The ARM issue I had the opportunity to see up close working in the mortgage industry for a few years. Loan officers wanted to make their goals and commissions so customers got approved on the teaser rate instead of the ceiling rate of their mortgages. That means 5-7 years down the road when your rate starts climbing, you are beyond your means. Tag that with the overall declining values of homes and you're stuck. Still peddling to make it appear as though we can handle what we have gotten ourselves in to. We bought something we couldn't afford so the people in that company could buy more stuff they can't truly afford. Living pay check to pay check, using credit cards to pay bills only to barely make enough money to pay the minimum on the credit cards. I realize this is one scenario and there are many out there, individual to each person as to why they are in financial dire straits.

When does it become a ding to some one's character to say, I'm not going to buy that right now, I can't afford it. When did shame get wrapped up there? OR how about I do like that, I'm going to save up for it. I liked the ladies retreat where the speaker asked us all to look to our neighbor and ask... what's so bad about being wrong? We can say in theory no one's perfect and we all have a need for Christ and we all nod and smile to that. It's all together different when the specifics are mentioned. Then my pride kicks in, the walls come up and my justifications begin.

I know these are strong opinions, which I'm usually hesitant to unleash for fear that something I might say would offend or hurt someone else's feelings. I'm not an expert but have had my own financial struggles about ten years ago where I learned the value of education in regard to money. I highly recommend Crown Financial Ministries. I have taken it twice, the second time being in our regular small group format, it was great. That course was a huge eye opener about the responsibility God gives us in regard to being good stewards of HIS money. Two of the most memorable lessons being my worth isn’t in possessions, and nothing really belongs to me anyway. Not growing up with a Christian financial perspective, it made an impact.

What I'm passionate about in this context is the sense of entitlement. I believe this attitude erodes our sense of appreciation. We question everything scanning for perfection which we will never know this side of heaven. Feeling owed sounds like it puffs up ones own sense of self. What am I giving back, if it's all about me? Basic necessities are food, water and shelter. There are responsible things to provide that come next such as health and life insurance. If we want more, let's make sure we are keeping it truthful. It's a want, it's not a need. God can give us the opportunity to be a steward over more. Just as the bible talks about each servant being held responsible for a different number of talents. I am not owed them and God can appoint some one to be a steward over them just as quickly. The parable talks about everyone being given at least a talent in the beginning, so I didn't do anything to earn that one. What I chose to do with it tells God how much more He can trust me with. Neither our worth or identity should bet wrapped up in acquiring them of having them.

Billy and I have had more than one conversation about the new house, affordability, responsibility, and being a good steward over it wanting in our hearts to use it for God's purposes.

What our nation's current situation has reinforced with me is to make sure I teach my children how to be financially responsible adults. I really enjoyed this article. I wanted to make note of the highlights here:

1. Set a good example.

2. Learn about money yourself.

3. Teach them one thing at a time.

4. Kids learn best by doing.

With these principles in mind, here are 11 lessons you can use to teach your kids about money:

1. Give them control of money.

2. Teach them the value of saving.

3. Teach them the value of giving.

4. Teach them how money can make money.

5. Teach them that cutting expenses can make goals come faster.

6. Teach them how to create a budget.

7. Teach them to pay bills.

8. Teach them about the dangers of debt.

9. Let them work for their money.

10. Teach them about materialism.

11. Teach them about impulse buying.

Get Service & Tagged

When busy or not feeling well, I share inspiration I didn't come up with. Both are occurring right now, there is much to do before moving on Friday and I've had a decent headache for about 36 hours now.

Get Service:


I was tagged by Jessica, a sweet online friend to list how blogging has effected me:

#1 A feeling of comfort and blessing from other women willing to be vulnerable. You offer advice and support during our journey to build a family as well as everyday life. I can't tell you how much that has touched me.

#2 An outlet to get my thoughts and feelings down. I tend to linger about them less if I can get them out of my system and writing has done that for me since I was a child. A chance to battle my own perfectionism and just be real. It took until my 30's for me to feel like I could just be myself with more than just 2 or 3 people at a time. There's still plenty of work for God to do in my heart.

#3 Prayers, I feel them. I have that feeling more often these days where I just know the only way I got through something because I know stronger people than me are out there lifting us up to the Lord.

#4 Staying connected to people. Yes, nothing replaces a good old fashioned phone call or visit in person. In between those, it's great feeling of community to keep up with friends & strangers here.

#5 Inspiration and perspective from people who are carrying much heavier burdens than I am. God works on me to be a better person through all of you. I truly admire and respect others who have motivation & courage to be vulnerable in our snap decision, judgmental world. It's because I've seen what other's words have done in my own heart that I share hoping to pass that feeling onward.

Feel free if you read this to share how blogging has touched you, can't wait to read others :-)

Personality Test & Moving

Billy took both tests as well online here . The results are on the right hand side of the page below mine. You can see our similarities and differences. We are both home bodies... surprise both pretty far gone introverts! Once we are comfortable and get to know people we open up more. The kinesthetic means we learn by doing, I had to look it up :-) Billy is definitely more logical of the two of us, we balance each other out that way. He is very matter of fact about the decisions he makes with thought, research and prayer. We challenge each other in our own strengths quietly and hopefully with love, truth and respect. I'm sure we are amusing at times from a third person perspective to watch us interact or maybe just what you need to help you get that nap in.

We had the appraisal done on the new house Friday. This week starts the house orientation, final walk through and closing. We start moving 8 am Saturday morning, Lord willing, so posting might be a little sporadic over the next couple of weeks until everything gets hooked up in the new place. If anything exciting happens, I'll try to keep you posted. Plus, I'll have the moving pics and the final picture of the completed house :-) We look forward to what God has in store for us in the future there.

The Adoption Road

Going down this path has been unexpected. Unexpected opportunities to for Billy and I talk, to keep God and each other a priority. We have prayed from the beginning of seeking a child to not become obsessed with building a family so as not to be unappreciative of the current life God is giving us. We pray to not get so wrapped up in any other goal than glorifying God. I want this to have God in the plot not just on the acknowledgment page. As some other more seasoned people have shared their stories, I become more familiar and more comfortable with the blessings and challenges that are unique to adoption. I wanted to capture my feelings at this stage of the process.

As I become more familiar with resources some terms, phrases and perspectives that I never thought of before come to the forefront. I like the term that who ever is out there considering an adoption plan is doing just that, not giving up or away their child. Abortion is all together unfortunately too accessible in our culture. If the child was truly unwanted or unloved, there are other alternatives. I try to put myself in the mother's shoes, pregnant and unable to provide for the child growing under her heart inside of her own body. I can't help but have compassion for her. I see pregnant women in my circle of friends and see the joy and excitement, even the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy and realize that women out there everyday endure all of that for someone who they will not get to love from up close going forward. If I try, I can feel maybe a very small sense of her struggle. I feel humbled by a mother who loves and wants the best for their child and believes that way is through having us raise them.

Our challenges include waiting, being scrutinized, being matched, meeting and seeing if that match will actually materialize, the possibility of having someone change their mind and deciding to parent the child themselves, the many teachable moments with our child so that they see adoption as a blessing like we do. Our child will have two sets of parents. I'm not new to the concept of having more than just birth parents to love me. I have had what I see as blessing now of additional parents through both my parent's remarriages. My bonus set of parents have added to the person I am today. It actually makes me appreciate them more because they chose to love me when they didn't have to.

We pray to not feel threatened by knowing they will have another set of parents out there. I pray to have a bond with them starting with the love we will both have for a child. We want our child to feel as though they fit and belong with us. I pray for a balance of knowing we are their 'real' parents who will tuck them in each night, love, teach, protect and be there everyday for them. I also know it would be short sighted to not acknowledge a bigger picture and connection of blood lines, genetics, history. I would be curious if I was in our child's shoes and I pray for a Godly balance for our child to feel that it's a positive thing to be adopted in to our family knowing what ever the circumstances that brought them in to this world that God wanted them to be here. They came from love, God's love. To know they weren't rejected and yet not to fantasize about the unknown, to not have where they came from be shrouded in mystery so the past isn't up on a pedestal either. I can't imagine how hard it will be for the tummy mommy as I've heard some say, to walk away. I look forward to sharing letters and pictures as well as building a relationship of trust so that our child will have a face, name, personality to their family of birth.

In a situation where our words can so easily sound trite and canned compared with dozens of other families yearning to have a child, I falter on how to articulate the heart of someone wanting to be a mother. I'm not afraid if I will love them the same or as much as a biological child, because I don't know what it's like to have a child from my body. We will bond through everyday caring and shared experiences not focused on their adoption but with the knowledge that it's not a shameful process. I know I've shared in a previous post my hopes for what kind of parent God will work through us to be. I don't just hope to be a good adopted mom, but a good mother. Adoption is a single step, a one time event that will be a part of but not define the family we will become. I will not introduce our child as our adopted child, but will also not shy away from questions of how God worked to bring our family together. I watched some beautiful stories unfold from the Hallmarkchannel.com site that touched my heart and gave me hope.

I like to think people's perceptions are one of caring and acceptance in this area of adoption, that no one would say, our child is not 'our own' or that we aren't the 'real parents'. I try to not go down that road and just pray for the same grace and benefit of the doubt that frames how God has touched my life knowing people mean well and are just trying to communicate at all about the issue. I can do that with me... thinking of someone saying something insensitive or uncaring to my innocent child breaks my heart. I know I can't protect them from everything, least of all other children who will pick out any difference that they fear or with which aren't comfortable. I think in all things, it's just that sense of appreciation, contentment, thankfulness, just focusing on the positive, instead of the defensive, negative, sarcastic things of the world.

Adoption Resources

I've come across several helpful resources that I wanted to make note of for future use:

I just subscribed to this magazine, I was very impressed by the issue I got from Barnes & Noble last week. They also have a website and this article choked me up:


It's been easy to think the the mom must be focusing on everything. While this information may not be true in every case, this and the survey information the magazine did launched a very good discussion between me and Billy. The article was named 'The Birth Parent Perspective'.

A baby book for adopted children :-)

Websites to check out here:

I've been starting to realize, this process is our pregnancy. The stretch marks and the growing are internal, so you can't see them. First in just attempting to conceive and now with all the paperwork involved. I've told a few people how in depth this last step was. We mailed it off this last week. My submission was 4 pages typed and Billy's was 7. Here's the request form if you're curious, double click on the picture to see it bigger and up close:

Every agency seems to be different in the order and scale of the the process adoptive families are asked to go through. Once we get settled in to the new house, we can have our home study completed. There is also an introduction/ parenting class coming up in October .

Fun weekend

Finally, after a month of dragging my sad self around, a fun weekend :-) Praise God for good health!! Fun including even going to the grocery store and doing laundry as that just feels like I'm normal again. Friday night I was tired from being out of the house so Billy and I had a quiet night in. Yesterday was the first day I felt completely myself. I thought I might have set myself back going out in the rain Saturday, but I think the additional coughing was due to talking so much as well.

Saturday our concerns regarding Hurricane Ike were for not, so we ran a couple of errands, came home and I made a cake for a prayer night we had with some good friends that I've known for 5 years, Billy has known most of these sweet friends for 10 years. Many of these friends were in the car accident 4 years ago that changed so many of our lives and also people Billy and I have spent time in the Ukraine with. We had a lovely meal provided by Amy and then spent some wonderful time sharing our hearts with each other. It's so great to have that comfort to be yourselves and know that these people know you love the Lord. That isn't questioned and they know you're just struggling with things and this is how satan is attacking me right now cause he knows how to hurt me. It was such a blessing and seemed so aptly timed for so many of us. And yes, I took pictures :-))

The girls chit chatting. Amy got a great group shot I'll have to get from her :-)
The guys were all outside grilling chicken for dinner.
Wendy, David and Emily (inside):

Jarrod & Dawn:
Lance & Debra:

Our wonderful hosts, Amy and Nathan, it was such a great idea guys!!!

Sunday evening our Sunday bible study class got together for a game night. It was soo much fun meeting some new people and playing together. It was bunko style, just trying to get 15 sixes so we could rotate through ten table of four people a piece. Great way to mix it up :-)

Group shot, Billy playing with Ashley, her co team mate and son Blake with two Sarah's


Love this sweet fun family:
They let me have baby loving anytime with sweet Kendall. That's Billy's arm thinking it would be a better shot with out her fist in her mouth, but I think it's great :

Ben and Sarah crack me up:
Brent and Mary being their sweet selves:

How did Katy and Michael escape my camera that much? Okay, I am on to them now......

Results

Doctor's tests came back and the main thing they were testing for cam back negative. So, it's not whooping cough, but a icky case of bronchitis. I finished the antibiotics on Tuesday so according to one of my reliable inside medical resources (thx, Amy!) I'm not contagious :-) I was starting to have cabin fever after a week being inside barely talking from the coughing, which I guess is a good sign that I want to do something else than lay there and sleep.

Today was the fall kick off of our Ladies Bible study that I'm very excited about. We are going through the Psalms, specifically 120-134. I'm hoping to find a job where I can continue to attend. All I can do is ask God, it's up to Him either way. I'm building up a bit more energy every day.

Also from sharing yesterday about some feelings and emotions and a conversation with my sweet husband last night and my friend Amy today reminded me of a couple of things about myself. Yes, I linger in my thoughts about topics, I talk about them when most people have far moved on to other things. I think other people might exhibit this behavior such as in hesitating to make a decision over a purchase, wanting to make sure they get the best product for the best price. I want to do the right things for the right reasons and I believe that requires thought and prayer even after the fact. I think it was my college business communications class that said the meaning of words aren't in the words themselves but in each person. It's why something that offends one person doesn't another based on what that comment means to them, past history, etc... Insecurity became a bad word to me when used as against me in the past, giving it this power and label over me. My definition of insecurity is someone who doesn't know who they are or what their worth is. I know who God says I am and what I am capable of through him. I know other people may think that I am because I am not an assertive, ambitious person. From the Captivating study I did last year, I veer more towards possibly being a wallflower than a dominating personality. All that to say, I'm glad for this place to mull over and articulate why something should be such a hot button. Thank you for your sweet comments Liesl, Chelsa and Brooke on my out loud thinking yesterday, I really appreciate the encouragement, understanding and love shown. I pray to grow from life's experiences according to God's will as His work is not finished in me.

Heart Moment

In light of the touching anniversary for our country today I am doing a heart check. I haven't done it here for a while being busy, sick and tired for the quite some time now. I start having moments where my mind can process every day events now and not be stilled by sheer activity. Activity is our generations drug. We drink caffeine, sugar and do what ever is necessary going without food, time for God or ourselves so our lives can mean something. When did our lives only mean something if we are busy? I have at times complained/ bragged about how busy we are, how important the tasks we are doing, how full our social calendars are. I've been hesitating to share some opinions just because I don't want anyone to think I'm referring specifically to them. I'd rather remain silent about something than hurt anyone's feelings. I don't want me sharing my thoughts here to be perceived as lecturing, preaching or judging. I do feel strongly and passionately about some issues. I know I can go on. What I share may not make sense to everyone since we all come from different backgrounds with different values and priorities. Maybe you disagree or it doesn't make sense. I don't pretend to be the best writer, in fact reading this month's Reader's Digest that my in-laws subscribed me for, I came across this short article:

You, too, can be a Gooder Writer:
So, you've always wanted to learn how to write something with a bit more zip than a grocery list? Look no further! Here are some valuable tips, courtesy of plainlanguage.gov:
Avoid cliches like the plague- they're old hat
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary
Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
Don't repeat yoursel, or say again what you have said before
Be more or less specific
Proofread to see if you any words out


A funny tongue in cheek reminder of how to be easily readable and I do almost all of them in my blogging. Which brings me to my next crutch that I know I fall for. Knowledge, having the right answers, appearing perfect, contained, put together. God knows how much I keep to myself so that people won't judge or think less of me. It's one of the honest things my husband wrote about in our home study questionnaire's. It did indeed get personal when they asked what do we especially like and dislike about our spouse at the time we met and now. They asked how often we disagree, about what and how did we resolve them. Talk about a gut check. After we were both completely done, we read each others. Only God knows me better than Billy, sorry mom and dad :-) I have to say Billy phrased our lives gently, kindly and with honesty as I would expect nothing less from him. It's one of many ways I admire Billy, he is who he is, he doesn't change for any circumstance or situation. His detailed personality is an asset and Godly balance to my big picture thinking. We don't love each other blindly believing the other is perfect or that we want to change the other person. I know he loves me no matter what and his commitment to God, our marriage and this process to have a child brings tears to my eyes.

Sometimes I just care too much what people think about me and that leads to insecurity. There I said the 'i' word, do not like it and it's implications at all. It is what it is though, right? I can't let God have it if I fight the title. I am an emotional person who in my younger days was much more guided by my emotions. On the personality tests, they call it a perfectionist, which is another term I don't care for due to the implications of being stressed and uptight it brings. As a result of being emotionalI have made my share of mistakes. Billy and I call it being tender hearted. I am moved easily by other's hurts and touched easily by other's kindnesses. I have no doubt at some point our child will at times either roll their eyes or look at me with kind pity and know their mother just cries easily. I come by it naturally, both my parents have sensitive hearts. I am more than that one title, I am many. I am most importantly, child of the most high, powerful, loving, forgiving, heart changing God. I'm not bullet proof and as I think about hitting send admitting to being human and imperfect and what people will think, I have to remind myself , no one reading this is either. I say that to help me share, not to put anyone down. We are all onions with many layers. I chose to share my weaknesses here because I think that's how I not allow satan to overtake me with them and win. I learned that with our journey to have a child, how much comfort and how normal I realized I really was in my reactions once I gathered the courage to tell someone. Sharing made me feel empowered, supported, loved and accepted. By the way, Billy did approve me sharing this here.

I don't like rejection as much as anyone else, so if you're a stronger person in this area who doesn't struggle with other's opinions, I ask that you try to put yourself in my place and don't look down on me too much. Think of what you struggle with and try to meet me there where we both aren't perfect. I do welcome your suggestions and thoughts on how you deal with this so that maybe I can learn from you.

Indiana Jones

I am going to brag a bit about my sister in law, Teresa. She throws her children the best parties. The parties are expensive only in the time and creativity she spends in researching ideas for the themes of what interests each child at the time. A couple of years ago, it was Dinosaurs for Kyle. She had a dig set up, crafts that were age and gender appropriate both in and outside of their home. I was looking forward to attending Kyle's birthday party last weekend not only to spend time with our sweet family, but to see what she comes up with. I couldn't attend this year due to being contagious, so I'll share the pics Billy took for me . I want to do stuff like that when we have children, or I'll just call Aunt Teresa as I know she's as looking forward to us having a child placed with us as we are :-)

Big sister Sydney being a good sport being wrapped up as a mummy:
The end of the treasure hunt, I believe Billy said it was a cave. What boy wouldn't love that adventure??

Birthday boy with a friend on each side receiving I believe Lego Indiana Jones

Mom & Dad helping him out.

Mom helping with put together the treasure map:

The cake :-) I just love the props!
Place settings in the living room. The centerpiece are the those gold wrapped chocolates with other treasures.

I forget what Billy said the back yard game was. Looks like an obstacle course :-)

These were the targets for the shooters. The shooters being pvc pipes with I want to say marshmallows in them.
Anyone have pictures of Ashley's shower from last weekend?? I'd love to see them :-)

In Lieu of Talking

I haven't been talking much the last few days. I cough alot less when I don't. The cold makes it worse as well as laying down flat. The coughing fits hurt my head and my stomach. The cough syrup is wonderful but it also causes drowsiness. I'll be done with my antibiotics tomorrow. I'm on an inhaler as well to help me breathe better. So...... I've been doing alot of reading, blog reading, facebooking at least while I sit at the computer, watching the tv, oh and sleeping. I'm on Billy's work lap top because he's on pager duty this week curled up on the couch. My doctor said I can go back to work on Wednesday so I want to finish out my notice at the preschool. I've made my peace with my decision and it's only two more days. I've also finished the Home Study Questionnaire and that's ready to be mailed off. Once I finished mine, I read Billy's which was so heartwarming to hear his viewpoint and take on our relationship, his family, what kind of father he wants to be among other things we were asked on our essay.

Tomorrow or rather as of 10 minutes ago now, today would have been my sister's 38th birthday. Lisa has been on my thoughts so often for the last week. Sometimes I don't realize how many mannerisms of hers that I still do. When I was talking to my family this week I had a strong urge to then call her, I haven't had that urge in a while. If I close my eyes and concentrate I can remember the sound of her voice. I can hear her laugh and smell her perfume and the tears start to well up. She was born 9-9-70 weighing 9 pounds, 9 ounces. I know today is several sweet people's birthday, so happy birthday Kristen, Shawnda and Ryan, I'll always remember your birthdays.....

I thought I was doing better with the coughing until tonight when I had a strong bout for several minutes. I have tomorrow off due to the doctor's note, and I was going to head to downtown Fort Worth to her graveside, but I'm soo tired and this headache hasn't let up for the last 4 days. So I'll remember her in my own way tomorrow. This entry is looping around sorry.

Other things going on with us are the house is coming along. We sign Friday, September 26th and start moving the next morning. If you're reading this and local I keep meaning to send out an email if you're willing to help us move. I'd say give me a call, but talking still hurts. Email me :-) We'd love the help and will thank you in what ever way you'd like! I haven't been going anywhere as to try to not make anyone sick. I'll know Thursday what exactly all this is and I'm protecting others from. I still don't want to be coughing on people, especially small children and pregnant women from our Wednesday night small group from our old church. They are getting more couples so probably eventually won't need us. Speaking of small groups, other thing new is our church's new Sunday night small group formations. We regroup every fall giving the groups a chance to grow and change. We get to know more people and it's easy to make that change without fear of rejecting anyone from our group last year. We did enjoy the summer break and also look forward to making new friendships this fall. I missed out on a sweet friend's baby shower this weekend and my nephew's birthday party and I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of both events. I really have been sleeping so much, and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to recharge and help my system get stronger. My doctor next visit wants to check some vitamin levels, one of the common issues with people who have celiac is vitamin deficiency. I take a woman's multivitamin , as well as additional vitamin C with the acidophiles as well as regular B12 shots in hopes of staying healthy. Billy's company got bought out this week so that's what's going on with him. I truly have a supportive, loving, doer of a husband that I am so appreciative of every day. He prayed over me tonight after a particularly rough bought of coughing. This entry is far longer than I intended, but I can't sleep, thank you if you're still reading :-)

Prayer

I listened to this beautiful song off a sweet friend's blog and teared up. What strength to pray to glorify God, for more compassion, strength of character rather than having my troubles all lifted and have it easy. (Thank you JT for sharing what touched your heart).

Lyrics to Prayer
I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet
May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of human insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride
What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through
May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they'd be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see
May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you'd learn to trust the plan He has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true
I have prayed for you now all my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?
Oh, that you would pray for me

I'm posting in the middle of the day because I just woke up again after a rough night, I'm going to the doctor today.

UPDATE:
Just got back from the Dr and I have three prescriptions. They took some tests that won't be back until next Thursday, so I'll be at home until then.

September Daily Bible Reading

I really needed this morning's readings. I'm doing mine on lunch since it was emailed out after I left for work this morning. Worth the 20 minute drive here and back on my lunch: -)

Date	Old Testament	New Testament	Gospel Reading
September 1	Psalm 148-150	1 Corinthians 11:16-34	Mark 14
September 2	Proverbs 1,2	1 Corinthians 12	Mark 15
September 3	Proverbs 3,4	1 Corinthians 13	Mark 16
September 4	Proverbs 5,6	1 Corinthians 14:1-20	Luke 1
September 5	Proverbs 7,8	1 Corinthians 14:21-40	Luke 2
September 6	Proverbs 9,10	1 Corinthians 15:1-32	Luke 3
September 7	Proverbs 11,12	1 Corinthians 15:33-58	Luke 4
September 8	Proverbs 13,14	1 Corinthians 16	Luke 5
September 9	Proverbs 15,16	2 Corinthians 1	Luke 6
September 10	Proverbs 17,18	2 Corinthians 2	Luke 7
September 11	Proverbs 19,20	2 Corinthians 3	Luke 8
September 12	Proverbs 21,22	2 Corinthians 4	Luke 9
September 13	Proverbs 23,24	2 Corinthians 5	Luke 10
September 14	Proverbs 25,26,27	2 Corinthians 6	Luke 11
September 15	Proverbs 28,29	2 Corinthians 7	Luke 12
September 16	Proverbs 30,31	2 Corinthians 8	Luke 13
September 17	Ecclesiastes 1,2,3	2 Corinthians 9	Luke 14
September 18	Ecclesiastes 4,5,6	2 Corinthians 10	Luke 15
September 19	Ecclesiastes 7,8,9	2 Corinthians 11:1-15	Luke 16
September 20	Ecclesiastes 10,11,12	2 Corinthians 11:16-33	Luke 17
September 21	Song of Songs 1,2,3	2 Corinthians 12	Luke 18
September 22	Song of Songs 4,5	2 Corinthians 13	Luke 19
September 23	Song of Songs 6,7,8	Galatians 1	Luke 20
September 24	Isaiah 1,2,3	Galatians 2	Luke 21
September 25	Isaiah 4,5,6	Galatians 3	Luke 22
September 26	Isaiah 7,8,9	Galatians 4	Luke 23
September 27	Isaiah 10,11,12	Galatians 5	Luke 24
September 28	Isaiah 13,14,15	Galatians 6	OPEN
September 29	Isaiah 16,17,18	Ephesians 1	OPEN
September 30	Isaiah 19,20,21	Ephesians 2	OPEN