Prayer for the Orphans

First prayer is best said in the email I received from a former full time missionary in Ukraine. This cause is very near and dear to our hearts as Billy and I have both seen the situation over in Ukrainian orphanages ourselves. Romania and Guatemala have passed such laws.

We just found out that Monday, June 2nd a new law is being presented to the Ukrainian Parliament for a vote. It the resolution passes it will effectively, and immediately outlaw all International adoptions from Ukraine! This is devastating news. If the new law passes no one will be able to adopt from Ukraine except for Ukrainians and Russians. This makes no sense as Russia has a lot of orphans so whey would they go to Ukraine to get one and Ukrainians don't adopt their own children. This law would impact a lot of people. Even those other there now. Our understanding that some would that are in the process right now would have to immediately stop and leave the county with our this child they came for.

My second request for orphans is from Adoptive Families magazine that I subscribe to:

Dear Readers, There is a horror film being released on July 24, called Orphan, about a family who adopts an older girl who "is not what she appears to be." The film is currently being promoted, and the trailer is available at http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com . The adoption message is extremely negative, and plays into the stereotypes of adopted children, particularly older children, as damaged. Though we have not been able to preview the entire movie, the trailer leads us to believe the movie will send a horrific message about adoption. The adoption community is protesting the release of the film. We urge you to contact the makers of the film, as well as your local movie theater chains, with your concerns. Feel free to copy or adapt the sample letter below. To whom it may concern: I want to express my outrage about the release of the movie Orphan. The film plays into the stereotype of adopted children as damaged and dangerous. It discourages families from pursuing adoption, particularly adoption of older children, who are especially in need of loving homes. As an adoptive parent, I am horrified by the line in the trailer that "it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." Adoption has often been misrepresented in the media, but the previews for this film are unbelievably offensive. I urge you to change the promotional materials, and to consider holding the release of the film altogether. Contact information: Warner Bros. 4000 Warner Blvd. Burbank, CA 91522 818-954-6000 Silver Pictures 4000 Warner Blvd. 90 Burbank, CA 91522-0001 818-954-4490 Time Warner Inc. One Time Warner Center New York, NY 10019-8016 212-484-8000 Thank you for your support. The editors of Adoptive Families

The Best

If you're a long time reader you know I not only share stories from my life and pictures, I also use this blog as a vessel to work through thoughts, ideas, struggles going on in my heart. I do try my human best not to be passive aggressive sending messages out through my talks, but to reconcile towards peace in my own heart. I will say my whole family is all thanking God for my nephew Jamee's safety. Oh and I will get belly pics up soon.

Simple Marriage is one of the most interesting 'non-personal' blogs I read and I've quoted here a few times.

"Let the best in you run your life. If you’re like most people, you have a scared, angry, vindictive, or lazy side that limits the quality of your relationship. You don’t have to let that side of you run your life. Instead, live from the resilient side of you. Remind yourself of what is admirable, competent and good about yourself, and about your partner. Seek to relate to your partner as though they are capable of developing further as a person."

I know I want my best life possible. I also know I have the tendency to procrastinate and to rely on others to initiate. Those expectations on others to fill in for me is where I reveal one of many immature sides that God is molding. Being my best makes me think of self control and only when I exercise more of it do I strive to act in a mature 'best" way. God, like any good father, wants our growth more than just our happiness. He does give us the desires of our heart in His time, but there's more to life than what I want to make me happy.

To me, being the best is showing maturity and exercising self-control. It's being respectful, helpful, kind, generous. It's putting other feeling's before mine. It's being humble enough to admit I'm wrong and apologize. It's understanding there are two sides to every story. We have 4 versions of Jesus' life, they are all true, accurate and different because they come from 4 different men's perspectives. Understanding in real life we don't have complete villains or innocents and the truth lies somewhere in between.

The best is about is having the self control to calm myself down without making others suffer for my own rotten mood. Maturity is not placing my happiness on anyone else's shoulders. My best is shown when I remember I have two ears and one mouth and it's not all about me. It's having the courage to step up and do the right thing when no one else is. It's going to the person who has offended me instead of just talking about them behind their back. It's letting the past remain a teachable lesson I forward move with and not something I feel I need to defend or dwell in. It's keeping my word and not making excuses when I don't come through.

The word mature appears in the bible 7 times..

1. Luke 8:14
   The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.
   
2. 1 Corinthians 2:6
   [ Wisdom From the Spirit ] We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.
3. Ephesians 4:13
   until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
   
4. Philippians 3:15
   All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.
5. Colossians 4:12
   Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.
6. Hebrews 5:14
   But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil
   
7. James 1:2-8 (my personal favorite) Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" Proverbs 29:11

"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self -control" Proverbs 25:28

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, what is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" Philippians4:8

A Decision

I agree, love is absolutely 100% a decision. I believe this is true with my husband, my extended family and my friends. I believe the bible when it says love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you. Which means we love everyone. The ability to live in a decision regardless of your own hurt or anger still exists. People do things in hurt to people they love they would not allow a stranger to get away with doing towards the person they love.

I know I have found myself waiting for others to show love before I will. I need to be the change I want to see. If I want others to give me the benefit of the doubt, I need to as well. If I feel loved when someone asks me face to face if something is true, then when I want to feel hurt by something I need to make sure I know their intentions. If I want someone to apologize with out rationalization or excuse I must. If I want people to love me knowing my faults, I have to not place the value of someone as the sum of their mistakes. If I want someone to be able to forgive my slip of the tongue knowing I wouldn't intentionally hurt them, I have to accept no one is perfect. If I trust in an all mighty Heavenly Father who sent His son to die for me then I have to accept that He died for their sins as well. I am not the judge, He is. I am not the one who ultimately was hurt, rejected, betrayed, slandered... it's Him. I can't allow others to set the tempo of what is acceptable in my relationships. I own that. It's my responsibility to look towards God and set in motion the standards for my marriage, my extended family, friends and strangers.





Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don't use you will lose. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won't get a return. Love is something you do, not something you feel because something happens to you.

Six elements to staying in love, included in Love is a Decision, are:

1. Making your spouse feel truly honored.

2. Learning the art of touching—tenderly.

3. Keeping courtship alive in your marriage.

4. Re-opening a heart closed by anger.

5. Building—or rebuilding—trust in a relationship.

6. Becoming best friends with your family

To define love by the one who IS love:

Love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This is a framed reminder that hangs in our home. My SIL Shawna gave this to Billy and I for our wedding.

So it comes down to me for me filling myself with the love of God, Jesus and His Holy Spirit. It's an acknowledgment that I am selfish at my core and I can't do it without help. It means exercising self control, selflessness in all things. It's about knowing it's a work in process, to recognize when I've failed to live up to God's standards, going to help for Him to do better next time. Saying I'm sorry and hurting or not giving love repeatedly does not show a repentant heart. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Ask myself was what I just did honorable, respectful, loving? Would I be ashamed if Jesus were in the room with me? Because He is......

Growing Up

Reminder to self: read this entry often as a reminder

Gluten Free Demos

I received this from a GF group I belong to and had to pass it on to anyone interested in the area:

Wanted to let you know that Market Street United Foods Grocery in Plano, Tx will be having GLTEN FREE DEMOs this Thursday, 10am - 6 pm throughout the store. Our address is 1929 Preston Rd, Plano, Tx 75093

Celiac + hungry pregnant woman = I'm there :-)

Comfort

I've been thinking quite a bit of comfort lately, or more specifically being physically uncomfortable. I am sure the more I grow or rather the baby does, the more this will happen. Why is being uncomfortable such a complaint? Why is the goal to be comfortable?

Where's the sense of purpose or adventure in comfort? Sure, there's safety. There is also fear in it being taken away. There's the pull to not do anything outside of the known, trusted or seen. We don't want to grow, be challenged or step out because of failure, embarrassment, rejection. When did we become so broken we become dependent on success and being in control?

When did happiness become the desired objective above maturity? Isn't concentrating on my own happiness selfish? I know we have to take care of and like ourselves first. That ability comes from knowing our identity in Christ. How do we pull off this humble confidence that God has provided? Selfishness is a sin and doesn't selfishness beget greed? Greed, entitlement, high expectations, judgmental perceptions, comparisons. A slippery slope down to "it's all about me". Comfort can be numbing from past hurt. Comfort in being in the know or feeling as though you have all the right answers, the highest level of education, the biggest house, best relationships, highest rung on the corporate ladder.

Part of the unease that the news is running with is our fear of not providing for ourselves and our families financially. When did doing out part become manic, frantic even desperate? When did we stop trusting God to provide for us just as He does the birds? We'll continue to see drama, change, prosperity and struggles.

Is God's goal for me only to have the house, husband and children in suburbia in comfort? God's goal isn't for me to have the best toys, biggest house, highest eduction. Nothing is wrong with those as long as they don't become the goals a.k.a. idols. He doesn't want us to be selfish, greedy, know it all, entitled children with no self control.

When I am uncomfortable, do I take it out on those around me? Do I rail for the rest of my life of things beyond my control and point back to that pain as a reason to never do anything worth while in my life? How long does feeling like a victim feel comfortable? How long does the anger drive until you can't ignore working through the why's anymore? When does the pain of today outweigh the fear of change needed to become whole again?

I'm most comfortable in control with all knowledge... I laugh as I type that. How often do I seriously have that? I take what I think I know and manipulate and run with it as often as possible. How far are we willing to go to get control? Put down or abuse others? Judge them? Compare myself in areas I feel I succeed so that I feel better about myself? Never work on my faults because it's admitting I have them? Not apologizing because that admits failure?

I am more comfortable helping others than asking for it. That has the appearance of not being perfect *gasp*. Perfectionism is something I've given to God and a way of letting that go is as admitting it. I heard recently " When you feel like you have your 'act together', that's what it really is.... An act." I know when I perceive rejection, my walls come up very high. It's my way of not trusting God to protect me. I convince myself in those moments, my walls will do a better job than He could.

I can point to 4 painful hurts/ failures/ struggles I've had in my life. God used those opportunities of a soft heart to do some much needed work in me. Do I really want more hurt just to grow? How do I keep a soft teachable heart?

We were made to be strangers in a foreign land down here for as long as He says. There's nothing any of us can do to change that. We were made for adventure. God gives us hope and a future.We are warriors for God, made to bring Him glory. We were made to live with trust and a certain level of ambiguity. We aren't made to know all the answers. We were made for relationship. Oftentimes that means admitting our humanness. Isn't that the elephant in the room?

First Mother's Day

I looked back at my entry for this time last year and see differences and similarities with yesterday. In some ways the feelings were still there about our wait. I still honored the precious women in my life whom I love very much and are responsible for who I am. In other ways, this year was surreal. I was so glad to make church on this day for the first time in 3 years. I was so very thankful to be able to stand up when our preacher blessed the mothers. To receive prayer and acknowledgment for the heart I've had for so long is everything I thought it would be.

I was very touched and cried through most of the sermon on Hannah, twice. We went to both services after being asked to update this from a year and a half ago. They replayed just a minute or two of the video. In person we revealed then that the struggle we mentioned was infertility. Of course 90+ women from the church found that out at the retreat a few weeks ago. I'm so very incredibly grateful for the ending to our story. I cried both times listening to the sermon. Billy and our friend "R" did most of the speaking this time. "R" was the friend who came up to him two weeks before we found out we were pregnant to tell us God put it on his heart that we'd be having a child soon. The sermon was done so respectfully and beautifully. The major point was that when women of faith encounter trouble, these women pray and that God blesses these women. I know not every woman receives the same blessing or the desired one. God does bless though. It's really the best sermon I've heard on infertility. A sweet woman from church pulled me aside during greeting time because she had felt the desire to pray over our pregnancy for the last few weeks. I cried again. They passed out a very sweet book at church to the mom's. I felt overwhelmed standing up with all my different other emotions present :

My mom, me, bonus dad, sister and brother. They were teasing me about something so we are all mid laugh.


My bonus mom and all the current grand children.

I just love my sister's kids, so here's a shameless other shot of them:
(Ashley, Kyle, Joan & Mark)

Cards from loved ones.... This first card so perfectly said how I felt. I cried again.

Yeah, cried.....


Thoughtful beautiful gifts, i.e more tears:

Half of a heart that says lil sis. Leah has the big sis half.

Sweet summer maternity blouse:
These willow tree figures are so beautiful.

Thank you Dawn for taking this sweet picture of the givers :-) It was sweet explaining the gift to Rachel.
My most recent food find at the Super W. I didn't even know they made honey nut and definitely not Gluten free! I usually skip the cookie/ cracker/ cereal/ bread aisles unless Billy wants something from there on occasion.


I have been taking tummy pics, I'll post them soon!

April Photos & My Birthday

I can tell I haven't blogged my pics because they sit in a separate folder ready for me to do so. Seems it was a good idea as I needed the reminder. Here goes :-)

Easter!




I thought this was such a sweet pictures of my in-laws. They took a cruise with their high school friends.

Here are my carpool buddies Sarah on the left and Amy on the right from the Ladies Retreat. I love these girls!!

For my birthday Billy spoiled me with most of all with his time. He also willingly let me drag him to Joann's Fabric Store and other shopping. The strawberries come six in a box, that's what made it home. On Saturday we went to dinner at my favorite gluten free restaurant with four friends and watched a movie.


We received Billy's niece's baby announcement which inspired me to do some card making/ scrapbooking early while I still have time. Congrats Starla!


So, I started working on the scrapbook for the baby. Yes, you can see the bump here. I'll post more as I get it done.

Encouragement cards we have received. This lay out needs more work.

I printed out what I shared at the retreat to include in the baby's book. I want him/ her to know what God in our lives to bring them to us.
The next layout I'm working on is all the great responses we've received. I spent hours copying and pasting responses from here and Facebook. This child will know how excited so many people were to hear what God had done. This is our "stone building".

Some light reading. What can I say? I'm a reader. It's how I approach most life experiences, this is no different. Thank you to Amy and Robin for a couple of these books and for the maternity clothes!!


Can't do an entry these days without food, could it be because I eat ALL the time??


After weeks of trying different solutions. This finally got me a restful night sleep.
I bought some general pastel fabric to start blankets. I didn't know until after I bought the polyester fabric to do a tie fringe quilt, that it requires flannel. I'll find something to make out of this.
Wonderful gift from Billy.... just because :-)