Year Two

I noticed the ticker on our countdown for waiting on a baby moved to two years yesterday, on Father's Day too... It is easy at this stage to play it safe and be cautious. I've had suggestions to try other fertility treatments recently. I truly haven't given up hope. After much prayer, I say I just don't think that's the way for us. The infection was caused not only by the actual insemination last winter but the medications as well. I know if and or when God ever has it in His plan for us to carry a child He can. He's not limited to only the medical field. I do want to do my part and we are. I want to be challenged and I treasure friends who care enough about me to tell me with love when they see I'm not going in a Godly way. Iron sharpens Iron. I wonder what others who aren't going through this think about how I deal and what I talk about, but then I hear from someone who knows and feels even a bit comforted or validated from something I've written here and it makes it all the stretching to do this worthwhile.

I am encouraged to know the path of a child given birth in God's timing and through the patience of his parents (Thank you, Courtney). I'm comforted by women on the other side of the journey, how ever theirs turned out. (Cindy, Deanna, and a whole blogging community of women who will share their testimony in this area). There are also precious people who are in the same place we are sharing their hearts along side us. We know one day this will all be a testimony. It is a testimony now, just later it can be told without my own hurt getting in the way of telling it.

I've done a bit of research with the gluten connection. Because of my immune response and the proximity of the intestines to the ovaries. I've had contamination three times in the last month, but that's a rarity. The more frequent, the longer it seems to snap back. Traveling and not having control over all my food plays a part in being completely gluten-free. Normally I go months with out exposure. I know women with Celiac who are mother's.

Even now I still have twinges during some months that lead me to believe maybe I'm pregnant. Until I have positive test results it's kinder not to take everyone on these monthly false hopes. At this point I'm learning to stop trying to have an illusion of control. Plan cautiously and know God gets the last say. Talking about it is really all right. Sharing with other people is so validating, comforting and reassuring. It's vital to ward off satan, bitterness and loss of hope. To comfort others rather than cheer up or deflect other's hurts. To listen and support others where ever they are in their different struggles. To be thankful for and live in the moment. To pray and trust God with everything.