Job Search

For my daily reminder that I'm not in control I think about the current job search process that's going on in our house. Billy who is extremely loyal has been in the same company since college (10 years for him). From a wife's perspective he isn't being challenged. I want my brilliant husband to feel fulfilled in what ever way God uses him to use his gifts. He's a wonderful provider for our family and I trust God will lead Him accordingly. He is making all the right efforts and God is saying wait (where else has that theme occurred in our marriage? Children and house oh yeah..:)

I have also been looking since Mid-May knowing Rachel was going to be cared for elsewhere. Here's one of the pictures I took on the last few days of taking care of her. (By the way, if you ever receive a picture quilt, please note Wash on Delicate, Cold Water, NO detergent. Lay Flat to dry.) I miss her sweet personality but I'm glad I still get to see her and sweet parents at church every Sunday. I got so attached to her, I cried when Amy and I talked about what was the next best step for her. I absolutely support their decision, I just realized I wouldn't get to see her as often.


Pressure, this job search process places on a person. When, where, how much, how often, doing what? We believed and still do pulling back from full time work for me while we were pursing the treatments was the best decision over all. Taking care of Rachel was a wonderful God timed privilege and blessing. I'm hoping to feel helpful where ever God leads me next, just feeling needed will fulfill me career wise. Career sounds like I take the path itself personally or aggressively. I always just want to do the best that I can wherever God leads me.

To some people though, their career is something that greatly fulfills them, they feel called to do and serve in that capacity. They have a passion and goal oriented focus to achieve a certain level of responsibility or success. I admit to not being one of these people. I see it as more than just a means to an end though. I want to do my best, give my employer their money's worth and also remember to work as for the Lord and not for men. I pray to see opportunities to share His word by behavior and words when the situations provide themselves. I've just never had that driving ambition to conquer or call the shots. I'm a worker at heart and not a leader. I'm happy knowing I've carried out something to the best of my ability and that my boss is satisfied with the way I carried it out and happy with the end result.

That's usually where I stop talking, money is pretty taboo. No one really talks about it and yet God gives us that as a way to eat, have clothes and a roof over our heads. There was a Crown Financial Study that shares money is discussed more in the bible than several other wonderful Godly disciplines including prayer. God is not limited to the means of a savings account, 401(k), or employment to take care of His children. We do our part in being good stewards over our abilities and time. But our efforts aren't what bring us our needs and wants. Hard to separate that when you don't work thinking about not eating. God provides other ways. Billy and I aren't struggling (because of God's provisions) and we haven't changed our tithe through this. God will provide a source of income in His timing and will. I get out X number of resumes a day and pray God will lead me to where it's a perfect fit. I know what's expected of me and don't want to let my husband down pulling my weight. Plus, after a bit, it would just be nice to know someone thinks you'd be an asset to their family/ situation.

Is that what they call the health and wealth gospel? I do my part and surely God will bless me? Isn't that a works mentality though? I earned these blessings by leading a good life? How far is that from the thinking that if you're a 'good' person that you will go to heaven? I say good in quotes because if you aren't measuring good according to God's character, what is good? Pretty subjective and self centered view, that somehow I could be good enough in anyway to earn a right in to heaven. Maybe it's the 80's residual of everyone gets a trophy. People think if they just show up, something is owed to them. A practice developed to avoid hurting a child's self esteem that breeds self righteousness and unrealistic expectations resulting in a bad work ethic. This issue doesn't hit as home to me as other things going on in our life. Cumulatively it's all part of every day situations that thousands of people face every day and have the opportunity in which to glorify God.