Differences

Differences are an every day part of life. Whether it's political, religious in our friendships or romantic relationships. No two people can and do agree on everything. Within my most personal relationship with Billy we have different ways of handling stress and change. We can use our different strengths as an asset or a liability. Showing kindness, respect, forgiveness and giving them the benefit of the doubt should apply whether it's my husband, the stranger out there that cut me off, the fellow believer at church that interprets a scripture differently or the coworker who voted for the other guy.

Irregardless of the issue I believe it's the way we communicate that sets the tone more than what our stand actually is. Expressing truth with love and compassion makes it easier to put our self in someone else's shoes. Ignoring an underlining tension creates a gulf eating away at any deeper connection. Avoidance creates shallow friendships. Courage is needed to delve and an investment in the person is made which is never returned empty. I can be right but wrong at the top of my voice. Harsh angry truth brings up defensive walls of protection. Listening while having an open mind and soft heart are compromised. Communication becomes harder the more charged the emotions become. Replying without compassion and a over simplified bandaid feels like a rejection of the deeper feelings involved. Change is not easy and most people don't embrace it until the pain of the present overcomes the fear of the unknown. We tend to be more blunt and outspoken about a certain issue if we feel the people around us share the same view. We can go on autopilot talking in hypothetical or ambiguous terms and we can sacrifice honesty in the bargain too. Only God can change hearts. No amount of nagging or judging someone is going to motivate true positive transformations. Isn't that what most young girls do going in to dating, believing we can change the man we are with, that we can help them live up to their potential? We push, we strain to make an impact on someone.

How do I accept the message when I hear something that I don't agree with? Depending on the comfort level of the relationship I may either externally not say much at all as the newness of the concept sinks in. Or if I'm closer with the person may vocalize a knee jerk opposing rejection ask questions if the atmosphere is safe. Most importantly, if the idea is something God wants to do a work in me, He will. It's my job to not resist.

Which ever side prevails, there are relieved people and those disappointed. Our church's elder selection process, us not adopting this child, every day frustrations and the presidential election have given me plenty of opportunities to see different opinions. God calls us to respect and love each other. Even if we consider someone our enemy, we still are called to 1 Corinthians love them. We are all unique individually and each person brings their own past, experience, views, feelings and traditions. We also bring talents, gifts, strengths that can enrich each other's lives irregardless of age, gender, religious or political convictions.

What pains me in these circumstances is hard hearts towards those who don't believe as they do. Opinions or being right become more important than a person's heart. We are all children of God and we hurt God when we lash out at each other. We desensitise ourselves as we live in a mobile anonymous society. We can all buffer ourselves with like minded people where we sink in to the comfort of long ago formed viewpoints with nothing pulling at us to broaden our minds. It's the easy way out to blame other people for our misfortunes. It takes effort to see God's loving fingerprints in our disappointments. When did we start expecting everything to go our way and throw emotional tantrums when it doesn't? No one promised us happiness every moment. What do we show our children and those around us who look to us for an example of the heart of Christ? Who are we to not forgive what God has??

Isn't this why we all put on our masks? I believe we hide in order not to be judged or thought less of. We keep our darkest failings to only the most trusted who will love us and not label us unkindly and harshly for our past sins. We live in an ever increasingly population where anonymity makes it easy to cast immediate, casual, harsh and very hurtful labels on to people. Are we called to have a relationship with the letter of someone's version of the word or the heart of God? Are we called to defend the bible or be light and salt representing the salvation of Jesus?


I believe in a balance of grace and obedience. I believe in the heart, the compassion and the grace of God. I also don't believe we get to do everything we want so I can be happy. I believe in self control, life and the Holy principles that Jesus lived out in His life. I was not won over by rules, laws or a life of perfection. I was won over to Christ by the offer of unconditional love, forgiveness and acceptance. God does call us to have pure hearts not just actions. We can never legislate the outward behavior to an unbelieving world without showing them Christ in our lives. If I chose to disassociate with everyone who wasn't perfect rationalizing they weren't safe, I'd have to start with me. Our love for God is reflected in how we love all others. Lord willing, I respond to my gift of salvation with gratitude and obedience towards Christ and His laws. I'm not saying I'm perfect with this attitude or with anything else. It's a journey, everything is. I'm realizing it's more about how I get there than if I do. God wants the hard work towards pressing in to Him while we are figuring out life down here. We are here for 80 + years before an eternity with Christ. Falling short includes hard hearts, stern dispositions and prideful attitudes of our measuring our sins to others. Those are sins and need grace as well. The balance for me is that I hold myself to the obedience and give grace to everyone, including myself when we all fall short of the glory of God.