Adoption Update

We have spent much time contemplating having a child in our house. I have come to realize the more real the adoption process becomes to us that no matter the circumstances adopting is complicated. The realization that this could occur as a reality within the next couple of months has been both exhilarating and frightening. Most women have 9 months to adjust from dream to reality, to prepare emotionally and logistically. We've had the last 2 years, 4 months and 6 days to think about our future child in theory. There has been and will continue to be so much to pray about.

How do I tell you this wasn't our chance at expanding our family? How can I express how very difficult this decision was for us? I don't know that I can, because only we can feel the aches in our chest. We continue our wait with faith. We trust God and believe that this precious baby is meant for someone else. That perfect family for him was not us. I ask for your prayers for Joanna and her precious baby boy. They are going through a Christian adoption agency and God will be in this baby's life. There are hundreds of people just like us waiting as well.

I could ask God why bring this opportunity to us if he's not supposed to be with us? I want to ignore all the complications, all the issues and just love a child. I want to change the tracker on this blog to my child's age. I want to fill the bassinet in the nursery. Only because of God do I have a bigger picture, that it's not about blame, anger or regret. Only because of Him and remembering my priorities of God first, then my husband do I know I have much to be grateful for. Part of me doesn't want to care how it will actually happen, I just want a baby to love. I know if I was on the outside, I would believe it's that simple. It's not about bravery. It's not about circumstances or logic. It's about faith. God is working through both of us and we trust He will bring to Billy and I the right child He has meant for us. When that time comes, we will willingly with out reservations accept our future child in to our home, our lives, our hearts.

There's so much more to say, but that will come in time with more perspective. It would be exceedingly easy to let my heart lead. Now I must allow God to lead my heart forward. I can't believe this is an actual post...

Jeremiah 29:10-14

I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back...


We were scheduled to go through the parenting class at the adoption agency this month, but it's a small agency and there were not enough couples to get a class together so we will be hopefully attending in the spring. This change coincides with the economy decreasing the value of our nest egg. So we need some time to build that back up anyway.