Hard week

This week several things have been occurring. I started a temp job on Monday, learned of a sweet friend's sister-in-law passing, watching my nephew hurting over disappointment, going to a memorial service that reminded me all too vividly of my own sister's passing, coming to the realization that Joanna isn't definite about placing her baby for adoption and an issue at my church that is near to my heart that pains and upsets me.

There have been bright spots, blessings, sparklies ** Billy sending flowers on my first day of work and making me dinner when I got home. Spending time with cherished friends. Watching a family love each other so much through an awful time that no family should have to go through.

I long for Heaven during times like these, don't you? When all illusion of control has completely melted, I am again reminded only God can protect, take care of, heal, and grow hearts. I can do none of these. He might use me as His instrument for parts of His story, but it's His rules and His timing. The promises of heaven of no tears, death or disease. Intimate and never ending communion with a loving forgiving Holy God. God has me down here for His purposes though, so in the meantime, I will serve Him down here. My tendency to look on the bright side takes a beating. Other people's pain hurts my heart. I know I can't fix others, but as I've said more than once this week, if I could just bubble wrap the people I love, selfishly I would. Yet, I know I wouldn't have the compassion God has planted for other's hearts but the struggles I have faced in my life. As a teenager, I was convinced I had the right way, the perfect life ahead of me. Reality happens, and my perception changed. I'm glad I started sharing the fun silly things we do on here, otherwise this blog would read much like my journals, pretty sad and depressing. These are the times when I have the most to say and have the strongest urge to get them out so I can move on. For several reasons already stated I'm having a hard time letting go of some things. I'm tired and my eyes are burning, but tears are God's way of pushing out all the toxins and cleansing .

Tomorrow is fresh and new and full of possibilities, it's the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.