A season

 Our realtor told us that the average homeowner moves every 5 years.

The highest risk for divorce is between 5-7 years. 

The seven year itch of infidelity in a marriage is a well known cliche and movie. 

Recently I have heard the phrase more than once of 'friends for a season'. High school, college, singles group, new mommy's etc ...

I wonder why that time frame? Has the thrill and newness worn off by then? Have the differences overshadowed the similarities ? Have the little misunderstandings , nicks of hurt feelings etc outweighed the compassion and support the relationship has provided ? Is it just not convenient and with the passing of time has the original circumstances that brought you together not present anymore and the relationship can't survive outside those parameters? 

That's when the real work begins . That's when loyalty rises. That's when the relationship is tested . The tension , the awkwardness, the unknown of it all , the feelings are pushed through or people move on. 

We live in a culture of convenience , easy and comfort . We can easily place our self in a bubble with no friction. We chose who to friend, who to follow and who to type to. We can easily avoid any conflict or emotion. We join what ever social media group with like minded individuals so we never have to discuss or be faced with differing viewpoints . We rest easy in comfort, encouragement and validation with others like us. We lose the ability to appreciate , value and see the benefit of in 'others'. We find ourselves only liking and commenting on those we can relate to. 

This isolation can be shallow and safe and selfish . I do it too. I join group upon group for ideas , inspiration and growth in the areas I want to. The rest ? Well, I rationalize I can't be good at everything and those people have their own inner circles to encourage them . I only have so much time and can only make so many close connections. I get ... Comfortable

I want to leave room for God's refinement , to be challenged, to be used outside of my comfort zone. I do want to continue to grow as a person , but I don't think I have to chose between loving people and trusting God. That's why we are here to extend Gods love first and figment . If I'm remembered for nothing else when I'm gone is that I loved well. God's love is sacrificial (not in a unhealthy way), it's faithful and it's unconditional. I am called to reflect my maker. May I focus my perseverance inward, my drive for accomplishment in competing only with who I was last year.

Love the song from James Taylor, "You've Got a Friend". It reminds me first to reach for Christ and it's the same way we should be there for each other.

 

Yesterday while watching a movie with my husband for his birthday, a few remarks stuck with me:

"Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn't mean they're lost forever.  "

"It's not their pain you're afraid of. It's yours, Charles. And as frightening as it can be, that pain will make you stronger. If you allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, it will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It's the greatest gift we have: to bear their pain without breaking. And it comes from the most human part of us: hope. Charles, we need you to hope again."

 

I really think when emotions get involved and we don't know how to reach each other, we give up. It's overwhelming, scary and our past with conflict rises up and paralyzes us. Rather than admit vulnerability, we back away. Maybe we point fingers, maybe we just feel like a failure, but rather than push through, lean in and fight for the relationship. We make peace and move on.....

Most of all,  1 Corinthians 13 definition of love comes to mind and it's summed up with verse

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Faith as defined in Hebrews11 "confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see". and hope won't be necessary in heaven anymore either because it will be fulfilled in Heaven. I might as well work on selfless, unconditional chosen love because I'll be spending eternity doing it.