The subject of gratitude is near to God's heart. A thankful heart is what God wants. (Colossians 3:15,Proverbs 15:13 &15; 17:22, 2 Corinthians 9:7, Philippians 4:6) In America we focus on the state of thankfulness in the Fall. Manners are an important value and characteristic in a person. The simple act of a thank you is such a thoughtful kindness. Manners are not about looking polite and proper, but it's a recognition that we are all dependent on each other. It reflects an appreciation, respect and validation for the efforts of others in our lives. Having someone in our lives who wants the best for us and takes the time, effort and thought to reach out should be told how much those things are appreciated. No matter if what was given was exactly what we wanted or needed, the heart of the gesture is what we are acknowledging. Gratitude keeps negative emotions such as complaints and depression in perspective. Being thankful for the people, circumstances, emotional, financial and material blessings in our lives remind me on a daily basis that every good and perfect gift comes from God. (James 1:17)
As independent as we all try to be in America with our culture of self accomplishment with achievement oriented goals we all have, stopping to remind ourselves we are much richer, deeper more mature people because of the people God has placed in our lives is fundamental to keep arrogance and hard hearts at bay. It's essential to think of what we can do for others, not expecting anyone else to do or be everything for us outside of God. We are not owed creature comforts or luxuries. Our actual 'needs' are few: food, water, shelter. Everything else is a want. Entertainment like movies or music, brand name items whether it be clothes or cars, electronic gadgets are all wants. I'm not saying there should be a guilt involved having any of these, but merely to say American culture takes these things for granted and WILL try to convince you are somehow less successful, worthy or 'cool' (by America's definition again of course) if you don't have the best material possessions. I do want the best for both of you. The best is determined by God though, not some American dream from the 1950's. Material possessions do not bring happiness, and making money is not the end goal. Money is not a goal in life anymore than being known or fame is. Fame and riches do not fill the hole of loneliness, life's purpose or meaning.
I pray for the hard work of your efforts that you are taken care of financially. I also pray that what you do benefits others. What ever profession you chose please just make sure to use your God given abilities and talents to make the world a better place. I desire with my most passionate part of my mommy heart for the sense of peace that is unchangeable that is only found in Christ, for you to be selfless giving men. I want for you to give God and the people around you, your very best. I hope with all of my heart you chose Christ as the Lord of your life. But also know, no matter who or what you become, where you travel, what ever your profession, whether you go to college, get married or have kids, own a home or not. Nothing changes my love for you and my desire to support, encourage and pray for you for as long as God allows me to be on earth.
Reminding ourselves that others going out of their way to do things for us helps ward off feelings of entitlement, too high of expectations and a hard heart. God never made us to be an island. No one is beholden to anyone else with strings attached for our kindness towards them. No one has the right to manipulate, guilt, control or abuse you just because they have done something for you or given you something. True selfless giving is done to help or encourage for the sake of doing God's will in our lives. We are not owed anything in return. We do reap what we sow. I believe in life we see people intentions as we are , not as they are most of the time. Our past experiences, lessons learned and personality frames our view of the events and actions around us. Our hard work alone is not why we bear fruit in our lives. (Ecclesiastes 1) 3 years of trying to start a family with all the medical information and knowledge we could get our hands on is just one of the many ways God has shown me our work is in vain when not part of God's will. I know it is terribly discouraging and frustrating to work towards a positive goal and wonder why this isn't turning out the way we wanted or when we wanted. After all going forth and multiplying is a very Godly endeavor stated in Genesis. A wonderful mentor prayed with us doing our journey and simply put this statement in front of us "The timing of your child may be for their benefit and future, it may not be about you". There was something inherently selfless in that I clung to as we continued to wait for the next year and a half for Matthew's arrival. I can't say I wanted that experience, I can say God did much work on my heart, marriage and relationship with him in those 3 years. Not everyone has to wait 3 years for a child, but it's where God lead us and He never left us. I can't regret that time. It's easier to say that on the other side, but I know in my heart and through all the tears we shed and prayers we sent up that next time we are working toward a goal, God is in control. His control is loving, kind, compassionate, wise and maturing.
There are very personal failures, hurt and struggles in my past. I chose, just like everyone does the path I wanted to take whether I was the cause or someone else was. I'm not professing to be perfect with my choices. I do hope I've learned through them and gotten wiser and more mature with each experience. Only in the last few years has James 1:2-8 been a true deep comfort. Maybe I just had to go through enough in life to see what God has done with my past hurts and disappointments to the beautiful work He is doing in my life. Being married to your daddy and having both of you is a dream come true. I am so grateful for all three of you in my life. Similar to Philippians 4:10-20, I know what it's like to be unloved, unwanted, disrespected and lonely. I also now know what it's like to be truly accepted, to feel part of something incredibly special and beautiful as the four of us are as a family. The choice is to see ourselves not as helpless victims of circumstance but as strong, capable, resilient children of God is essential. It's not cliche to say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He is there every step in our lives and turning to Him, relying on Him will get us through anything. Not with our hurt, struggle, anger or questions, but we will get to the other side and God will show us the way. He just have to look and follow His will. I'm not a victim and I'm not looking to blame someone. I can only control me and my reactions to the world around me. I don't expect to be happy 24 hours a day, to never struggle, to always get along with everyone or for things to turn out the way I want them to or for people to not hurt my feelings. Not having that control is terrifying to some people. So they close up. I believe the more hard hearted, the most closed off and skeptical someone appears on the outside the more vulnerable, hurting and insecure they are on the inside. That is just my view and experience from life. I'll say again, being vulnerable, open and taking risks requires strength, maturity and a complete reliance on God. Sometimes I'm successful at this endeavor and sometimes I'm not. God gives me the strength to be wholly reliant on Him being grateful for everything around me and other time Satan's voice of self pity, entitlement and frustration guide my actions. What wins in the end is the one I feed the most and dwell in. I am not defined by other people's acceptance or rejection of me. I am defined by Christ alone.
Giving has always been easier than receiving help. For some reason I'm still delving in to at this point in my life, it brings up feelings of vulnerability. Luke 17:11-17 tells the story of how Jesus healed the ten men and only one returned to praise and thank God. Verse 17 sums it up well, "17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” "
Gratitude requires vulnerability with a humble acceptance we can't do everything on our own. Vulnerability requires a strength provided by God in oneself as well as the discernment and leaning on God to know with whom to be how vulnerable. God does work through all of His children: regardless of age, gender or faith. By thanking these people in our lives, we are acknowledging God's work in our lives through them.
With All my Love,
Mom
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