Comfort

I've been thinking quite a bit of comfort lately, or more specifically being physically uncomfortable. I am sure the more I grow or rather the baby does, the more this will happen. Why is being uncomfortable such a complaint? Why is the goal to be comfortable?

Where's the sense of purpose or adventure in comfort? Sure, there's safety. There is also fear in it being taken away. There's the pull to not do anything outside of the known, trusted or seen. We don't want to grow, be challenged or step out because of failure, embarrassment, rejection. When did we become so broken we become dependent on success and being in control?

When did happiness become the desired objective above maturity? Isn't concentrating on my own happiness selfish? I know we have to take care of and like ourselves first. That ability comes from knowing our identity in Christ. How do we pull off this humble confidence that God has provided? Selfishness is a sin and doesn't selfishness beget greed? Greed, entitlement, high expectations, judgmental perceptions, comparisons. A slippery slope down to "it's all about me". Comfort can be numbing from past hurt. Comfort in being in the know or feeling as though you have all the right answers, the highest level of education, the biggest house, best relationships, highest rung on the corporate ladder.

Part of the unease that the news is running with is our fear of not providing for ourselves and our families financially. When did doing out part become manic, frantic even desperate? When did we stop trusting God to provide for us just as He does the birds? We'll continue to see drama, change, prosperity and struggles.

Is God's goal for me only to have the house, husband and children in suburbia in comfort? God's goal isn't for me to have the best toys, biggest house, highest eduction. Nothing is wrong with those as long as they don't become the goals a.k.a. idols. He doesn't want us to be selfish, greedy, know it all, entitled children with no self control.

When I am uncomfortable, do I take it out on those around me? Do I rail for the rest of my life of things beyond my control and point back to that pain as a reason to never do anything worth while in my life? How long does feeling like a victim feel comfortable? How long does the anger drive until you can't ignore working through the why's anymore? When does the pain of today outweigh the fear of change needed to become whole again?

I'm most comfortable in control with all knowledge... I laugh as I type that. How often do I seriously have that? I take what I think I know and manipulate and run with it as often as possible. How far are we willing to go to get control? Put down or abuse others? Judge them? Compare myself in areas I feel I succeed so that I feel better about myself? Never work on my faults because it's admitting I have them? Not apologizing because that admits failure?

I am more comfortable helping others than asking for it. That has the appearance of not being perfect *gasp*. Perfectionism is something I've given to God and a way of letting that go is as admitting it. I heard recently " When you feel like you have your 'act together', that's what it really is.... An act." I know when I perceive rejection, my walls come up very high. It's my way of not trusting God to protect me. I convince myself in those moments, my walls will do a better job than He could.

I can point to 4 painful hurts/ failures/ struggles I've had in my life. God used those opportunities of a soft heart to do some much needed work in me. Do I really want more hurt just to grow? How do I keep a soft teachable heart?

We were made to be strangers in a foreign land down here for as long as He says. There's nothing any of us can do to change that. We were made for adventure. God gives us hope and a future.We are warriors for God, made to bring Him glory. We were made to live with trust and a certain level of ambiguity. We aren't made to know all the answers. We were made for relationship. Oftentimes that means admitting our humanness. Isn't that the elephant in the room?