I'm sitting here thinking about the 9 people Billy and I have lost in the last 4 years. As young as 10 and as old as 87. Lupus, leukemia, cancer, cystic fibrosis, asbestosis. We've had quite a few conversation about salvation around here. I jostle between feeling as though nothing will touch me like I'm numb and then I question my strength as I hurt over realizing how different the landscape of my family is now. It's of course not that I am strong or have to be, because God can really only be seen once I give up any sense of control or power. Otherwise it's me trying to call the shots out of desperation or fear. Semi-related we were saying if for some reason we did get pregnant, we'd tell as soon as possible. I know some women wait until that risky first trimester is over. I'd have to say if something bad did happen, we'd want, no make that need, the people who loves us support and encouragement. We'd want people to know he/ she existed and that meant something to us.
We were blessed for alot of years, more so than we knew. Reminds me of a song by Super Chick, called we Live. It's about loving and forgiving because we never know when our time will come. We still are blessed, we are reminded God hears us. Another issue Billy and I talked about was organ donating which I would want to do. My soul would be with Jesus, don't need the body anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment