Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean.... 'uummm anything' (edited by me)
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean.... 'uummm anything' (edited by me)
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.
I run the race doing my part to the best of my human ability with the much needed help of the power of Christ. God has a purpose and calling specifically for me. Currently that is homeschooling my two sons and being a wife to an amazing man. There were times in my life it was going to school, the Ukraine, ministering to my family, participating in Friend Speak, etc... There is a season for everything -Ecc 3:1. I've been in mourning, in celebration, in frustration and in fear. I know what's it like to be running away from God and to desperately seek a specific answer from Him. I have wasted dark days being luke-warm, confused, angry, hurt, afraid, confused, and cold. I have peacefully and with peace been joyful in His presence, thankful even when the answer wasn't what I wanted, pressing in to Him as I sought answers, healing and forgiveness and calm in the midst of a storm. Looking back, I learned something from each and grew closer trusting in God. Probably not as much as God might hope, but I did.
God made many members of His body of Christ- Romans 12. Somehow, some times we think that everyone should have the view point, prescriptive, talents and abilities we do. There are times (years, months, day, moments, seconds) that I step over the line of respect, love and honoring of another God made creation and I question their heart. I question their motives. I judge their decision and minimize their value. This article has been replaying in my mind today. I wrote recently about a few mean girl experiences of my own and yet I know that there are situations where I'm the lead character for someone else and it pains me. Satan has worked through me and brought pain, doubt, anger and fear. As gifted at the Lord has given me through mercy and compassion, I'm not perfect in any area. We are at the very least oblivious to the social ques around us and at worst behaving out of revenge, spite, anger and hurt. We got the zinger, we made the point, we had our laugh at someone else's expense. We put them in their place, taught them a lesson and showed them how much we found them lacking.
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| Apologize |
When statements born of our own inner conviction starts with "Well, everyone should know that", It's so obvious", "It's a given"," That's the minimum", "That's common sense", "They should have known that", "I would never" then we are pressing our expectations wither spoken or unspoken on to someone else. We assume our view is the only correct, right, best way. Everyone else will fail in our eyes. When someone's goodness, kindness, patience or love is responded with, "That's what they are supposed to do", "That's the least they can do", "It's about time", "It should have been done earlier" we fail to appreciate the heart and the giver. We feel owed, entitled, that we've earned what we have received or are due what we've been short changed. Instead of saying "Why Me?", we could start asking "Why Not Me?" or maybe pray to have the strength to say,"God, what would bring you the most glory here?" with out thought for ourselves.
We confuse needs and wants and everything is flipped upside down. We operate out of a system where cause, materials items, our comfort and our personal best overshadows the wants, hearts, needs and desires of others and most importantly the will and plans of God. We become self focused and driven. Make no mistake, that will always end in someone else's pain. The ripple effects of our selfishness starts hurting God and out own connection with him and spreads outwards like a pebble in a pond. It's doomed to fail and effect more of our choices in an ever widening path as the justifications seep deeper in to our core beliefs. It's not balanced with the needs of others. There's no room in there for giving, serving, humbling ourselves. When do we admit we don't know everything? Social media (like Facebook, Twitter and blogs) gives us glimpses in to each others lives and I'm thankful for that but let's not forget, it's never the whole picture. We need to remember only God knows their heart. When do we start supposing the best in others and give them the benefit of the doubt? When do we stop jumping to the worst conclusion? When do we stop our cynicism, skeptically based critical thinking? When do we remember that it's a human defense mechanism and a very poor substitute for the peaceful wisdom and protection of our loving God? When do we realize we are hurting ourselves, limiting the love of Christ and the possibility of God's given purpose in that moment? When do step down off the thrown of our own human knowledge to have figured it out, not be taken or made a fool of? Is that why we are here? To protect ourselves? The main calling and the great commission has nothing to do with self and everything to do with the purposes and main objectives of God. Spreading His nature, His love, His message. He does care about our hurts, our disappointment and there is no substitute for the power of His healing grace.
We confuse needs and wants and everything is flipped upside down. We operate out of a system where cause, materials items, our comfort and our personal best overshadows the wants, hearts, needs and desires of others and most importantly the will and plans of God. We become self focused and driven. Make no mistake, that will always end in someone else's pain. The ripple effects of our selfishness starts hurting God and out own connection with him and spreads outwards like a pebble in a pond. It's doomed to fail and effect more of our choices in an ever widening path as the justifications seep deeper in to our core beliefs. It's not balanced with the needs of others. There's no room in there for giving, serving, humbling ourselves. When do we admit we don't know everything? Social media (like Facebook, Twitter and blogs) gives us glimpses in to each others lives and I'm thankful for that but let's not forget, it's never the whole picture. We need to remember only God knows their heart. When do we start supposing the best in others and give them the benefit of the doubt? When do we stop jumping to the worst conclusion? When do we stop our cynicism, skeptically based critical thinking? When do we remember that it's a human defense mechanism and a very poor substitute for the peaceful wisdom and protection of our loving God? When do we realize we are hurting ourselves, limiting the love of Christ and the possibility of God's given purpose in that moment? When do step down off the thrown of our own human knowledge to have figured it out, not be taken or made a fool of? Is that why we are here? To protect ourselves? The main calling and the great commission has nothing to do with self and everything to do with the purposes and main objectives of God. Spreading His nature, His love, His message. He does care about our hurts, our disappointment and there is no substitute for the power of His healing grace.
Our view point becomes our idol. The more that any one else's weaknesses don't come to our acceptance, the more people we discard. That's our society's ways. Replacing, upgrading, the bigger-better-faster, name brand, latest, most expensive 'IT' thing means value and security. That broken philosophy then bleeds over to people, that people are only in my life for a season. I'm sorry to disagree with the pretty flowery statement, but really? The heart of that statement says to me I can replace you, you're not needed anymore here. It's all about me. I'm on to bigger and better things for myself. I can make peace with cutting someone out of my life because it suits me. Our causes become more important than people. Our stands, our view points, our approval and support is our idol. You may disagree whole heartedly with my view on that and have very sound healthy reasons for it and we would have to agree to disagree. I'm not saying you're wrong and it would not be your place to convince me like wise. The work of the Holy Spirit is stronger than any word, any fact, any experience you have to draw from. There are places where I'm sure we shall both not be moved. It doesn't make either of us wrong, it makes us normal, human and individually God created. When those differences begin to define our relationships and mark others with a one dimensional label that overshadows the complex and diverse individual make up of another person, we've lost our way. We are the resounding gongs Paul warns about in 1 Corinthians 13.
We are not carbon copies of each other. God and the world doesn't need more than one of me or you. To expect someone else to be at ... ahem... our standards is selfish at the very minimum. When the differing views of any two people become the basis of elimination of the relationship, I think it's a fail. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again. If you're looking for someone that is going to agree with you on everything, look in the mirror. That's the only person who is going to agree with everything you think, do, believe, say or act on. A view point born of pride and the inability to to interact and meet someone else willing to know their heart. Not with the mindset to change their way of thinking or to use the Christian word, convict their heart but to know and love another person different from you. We all are different with backgrounds, experiences. I grew up with three siblings, same house, same parents. We are all vastly different people. It's not just about influence, but reaction. Two people can see the exact same event and will have completely different experiences. Just because you would do more or something different or would never do that does not excuse the cold hearted hateful words towards another human being. Regardless of the tone of our voices, that's the tone and color of our heart when we fail to see the good in the person and praise it. God has challenged me to find good in the people I least relate to, agree with and understand.
I also don't believe in pity friendships either. Everyone deserves to be appreciated for who they are and what they have to contribute. If truly you can not, with Christ, find it in yourself to see just one thing of worth, of good report in another human being than walk away. I challenge each of us to press more in to God. I'm sure there are critical arguments against what I'm saying. I would counter by saying very few flaws in other people are as dramatic as the labels people give them excusing their behavior. I know, I've done it and it was hogwash. I just didn't want to do the work. I wanted to throw my pity party giving the litany of things they had done and excusing my responsibility. Each person has the image of God within them and if we are so clouded in those moments with our own pain then walk away and pray. Give your heart to the Father and pray to see that person with the eyes of the One who created their inmost being and would die on the cross solely for them as well. With humbleness we recognize it's us lacking the most in those moments. God grieves when any of his children are hurt by one another. Hurting people hurt people and God alone has the ability to stop that cycle.
God IS love- 1 John 4, it's not something he chooses to exercise only in certain situations. It's an intrinsic part of his make up. Love is who He is. What ever our cause, our conviction, our beliefs, our traditions, we are never excused from living those out with love. Passion, purpose, opinions and facts are pointless. They become semantics and detrimental used as a weapon to hurt. Let's not try to convince ourselves that it's a faceless, large group of "them". We are efforting to depersonalize the damage we cause by not putting a specific face, lives and hearts to what we consider to be inexcusable. We are just another creation, we are not the Creator. He alone has decided the law, the penalty and the price for it being broken. It's already been paid for each one of the "thems" and for us.
Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it's not forgivable. We all have our temptations, our flaws, our weaknesses and our sin currently every day in our lives. Let's not forget that our enemy is not of flesh and blood but of spirit. Yes, I believe this applies to politics, religion, life style choices, lies, betrayal, abuse, criminal activity etc. God's loving guidance knows no boundaries and doesn't selectively apply to only certain personality types, circumstances or situations.
Live the purpose God has individually picked out for you, but never forget to do so with love. Only you can do it.
Scripture says it beautifully here:
Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
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