"It's okay to not be okay
This is a safe place
This is a safe place
Don't be afraid
Don't be ashamed
There's still hope here
There's still hope here
No matter what you've done or who you are
Everyone is welcome His arms
Just let go let His love wrap around you
And hold you close
Get lost in the surrender
Breathe it in until your heart breaks
Then exhale
Exhale"
brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps to my arms. I was reminded on my entry from last November titled " I'm OK, Not Being OK"
Our church has begun a new sermon series and is launching a ministry that I'm excited about. Celebrate Recovery is the recognition that we all have baggage. We all have unhealthy coping strategies and make poor choices out of our hurts and tendency to believe the world's lies rather than the truth, power and grace of God. There is no judgment on your faith or maturity. There is also no expert pretending to have an answer to all of your problems trying to fix you.
The sermon series our preacher is starting is called Baggage Claim. The sermon series can be found here starting with the sermon on July 26, 2015 titled "No One is Perfect" I cried during worship time on that first morning, because it was such a breath of fresh air. "Church is where you take the mask off, not where you put it on" Because it's what I've been wanting and needing to hear about God and from His people. It's not a new concept or even the first time I've heard this from a pulpit. The reason it resonated so strongly with me is this has legs to it. They aren't just talking, they are living it out.
I want to be done feeling like an outsider. These are my people, I can't be shocked by the sin inside anymore than the sin outside. If I somehow put Christians up on a pedestal, I'm buying in to the lie that we can obtain perfection and we don't need the grace of God. If I say I or they should know better and shouldn't stumble, doubt, question, or sin, I'm believing head knowledge is sufficient for heart life changing transformation. If I compare sins, I'm living as thought I don't need or want forgiveness and that it's not equally available to every person on the planet, bar none. In many ways the church is zero different from outside the church. We somehow expect ourselves and each other to be perfect and when we aren't, we cry hypocrite just like the rest of the world does. Maybe to some degree, we want to believe perfection is possible and life could be easier and fixable, more able to control and less likely to be hurt, betrayed, abandoned, what ever your worst fear is. Life is not formulaic. It reminds me of my early 20's, you know I can take on the world, I had all the answers. Oh vey. Part of me believed at the time I had to be that oblivious and feel bullet proof with some degree of an arrogant attitude because otherwise I might run form adulthood and all it's responsibilities, failures, the unknown and the pressure of all the life deciding decisions on my shoulders etc.
Not for one minute, do I believe shining God's light is about perfection and meeting standards and laws. Standing up for what you believe in with conviction, kindness, love and courage is not limited to professionals, the most mature, the scholars, the benefactors of christian royal lineage. It's for every person whose heart has been impacted by the love of God and finds redemption in the blood from the cross of Jesus Christ dying from our sins. I believe the glory of His love does include law, but that only comes ( at least for me) after the love, grace, redemption, support, encouragement, prayer and being a friend. He shines brightest when we accept our need of Him. He is glorified when we stop trying to think of our own answers. He reigns supreme when community and vulnerability is present. It's not about the short sale and the notch of success on some mythical spiritual tally. It's commitment, loyalty, love, perseverance. So much of our society is geared towards our comfort, ease, entertainment and success of self and I formally reject it.
If I never share another message about faith. If this is my last post about 'religion' (such a small world that doesn't begin to adequately define or describe God) I'm ok with this being the resounding echo that I stand for.
I'm at a place where I know diversity is essential or pride and comfort seep in. In life, I can recognize when I'm starting to only want to acknowledge the positives in my life choices and the negatives in others. It's a lose-lose game. The temptation to internalize, take it personally, feel judged or somehow codependently require those I let close to me to only be like me. I never want to lose the ability to have a meaningful loving conversation with someone who disagrees with me on every point and we can still walk away with respect, love and kindness. While I do want to be known more for what I am passionate about and champion and have a heart to go to the mat for; saying I don't like or chose something isn't a slap or judgement to everyone else who disagrees. It's okay to be different, it takes away nothing from you, including respect and love if I don't agree with you and vice versa.
There is a beautiful place between the misnomer of labeling everything all right/ no one is wrong and the idea that your particular way of living out your faith is the only right way and everyone else is weak, immature, not faith filled or wrong. I don't know about you, but I'm living the honest learning curve, effort and mistakes of life in balance with God. I'm running the race to be hot or cold with out selling out. I had a get real or move on struggle in the Spring -that I'll post about another time, but this is the ongoing results from that including to find honest community, forgiveness, authenticity and vulnerability in all the mess of every day life. Life, me, you, church, politics, education, work, our country and world peace is a process. I don't have it all together, most people know they don't and I challenge you to accept that no one else does either. There is no perfect 'they". Practice makes progress, but there is no perfection this side of heaven.
Have to edit and add with this song my friend posted today by Mercy Me called Greater.
There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater
He's Greater
I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how he sees me
And it makes me love him more and more
He's Greater
He's Greater
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