Tick Tock

6 days! We are on God and Matthew's schedule. I am taking advice and sleeping as much as I can feeling as uncomfortable as I do. Our little guy has to be snug in there since I can feel every little move. Mommy and daddy are very ready to feel him in our arms. I feel content with the progress that's been made on preparing for his arrival. I have the most urgent projects completed. Bags are packed and in the car, car seat is installed. Our last task will be completed by Billy tomorrow, courtesy of his family by picking up a pump tomorrow.

Many people have asked about a birth plan. I think it comes with the territory in this stage of the pregnancy along with, "How are you feeling?" and I'm not offended by either question. I'm a fairly open book since I believe what we've gone through, are feeling and experiencing are as Ecclesiastes says 'Nothing new Under the Sun'. As far as a plan, it's one of the things we've live out the last few years that God's will is different in each of our lives. His plan, timing and ways are His alone. We are not cookie cutter patterns of each other and so what His plan looks like for each family is different. I think two of the perspectives I've gained with conversations about labor is first, having Matthew and wanting what is best for him is God's will. Also, each woman has an individual ideal in their head of what that the perfect labor story would be like. I've asked many a mommy for different perspectives on what/ how/ why/ when etc... I do indeed have very patient, compassionate and generous female friends who were not threatened by my curiosity of all the different ways this can happen nor did they pressure me in to their way of doing things. I truly desire in my heart to be confident in the direction the Lord is leading us and our Godly doctor to do what is best. I do not want too many specific expectations or pressures on his arrival since I know my tendency towards perfectionism could very well end with the thought of failure. How can it be failure when God has graciously, beautifully carried us through the journey we've been on for 3 1/2 years towards the culmination of our dreams in this area? God has control over our lives and nothing I would want to plan is going to take that away from Him.

I do ask prayers for the week(s) ahead for the strength to do what is necessary to do my part to bring Matthew in to the world. Unknowns easily get built up in my head. The temptation to worry, from what I hear, never really goes away. There is always the next step fraught with potential pitfalls . I remind myself in those moments again God brought us here and also women do this every day. I can do this, what ever it may be. Everything is also tinged with excitement, emotion, anticipation and hope. This time next week, Lord willing, Matthew will be in our arms :-))

We are looking forward to a quiet week with a last pre-baby date night planned in there. Part of me giggles thinks by typing that he might come early, but only God knows.