Perfect People

I have quite a bit to share so here is the first post. I've heard this song in the car on my way home the last two times from the grocery store and had to post here because it speaks to my perfectionist heart so well.

Never let him see you when your breaking
Never let him see you when you fall
Thats How We Live and Thats How We Try

Tell The world you've got it all together
You never let him see whats underneath
We cover it up
with the crooked smile
but it only lasts for a little while

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
so come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed, and be changed
by a perfect God
yeaaa

Suddenly its like a weight is lifted
when you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and were you've been
and you never have to go there again

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
so come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed and be changed
by a perfect God

Who lived, and died, to give you life
to heal our imperfections
so look up, and see love, and let grace be enough

There's no such thing as perfect people
YEAAA
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed and be changed
by a perfect God
by a perfect God
by a perfect God
yyeaaa
by a perfect God
be changed by a perfect God
be changed

Speaking of not being perfect, best Apology 101 here: I generalized the entry to apply to any relationship.

Here are three things you can do when you’ve messed things up. These are all ways to take personal responsibility in your life:

1. Take it on the chin. There was nothing I could say back. Sometimes the best decision is to simply take whatever they say right on the chin. Just allow them to feel whatever feelings get provoked when you have made a mistake. No matter how they respond, just let the response go and accept the consequences to your actions.

2. Do not blame. The last thing you ever want to do when you’ve blown it is to blame. If you blame your spouse, others, the weather, hormones, the tides, or any other person, place, or thing you are setting your spouse up to be defensive and to feel invalidated. Suck it up and accept responsibility for your actions. We need to grow up. My friends, this is a huge way to show our maturity in life. When we stop blaming our past, we start growing and moving forward in life. The longer we blame, the longer we stay stuck.

3. Do not explain. This is a difficult one to do. Some times we hurt our spouse unwittingly. I’ve said before that I don’t always mean to hurt their feelings, I’m just naturally gifted at it. If I have hurt someone accident, the last thing I want to do is try to explain to them why I did not mean to hurt them. This naturally feels like the right thing to do. We think to ourselves, “If only I could explain to her what I really meant, then she wouldn’t feel hurt anymore.” This is faulty thinking and it will only get you in to trouble. Don’t explain your actions if they are not ready to hear you. First validate and ask what you need to do to repair the damage. Then, just maybe, you will get a chance to eliminate any negative or false beliefs your spouse had against you. But do not attempt this until your spouse has reported feeling understood and validated.