The more things change....

My lack of personal entries lately has been due to adjusting to the shock of family news. After almost three years we have found out we are pregnant. We are very grateful for God revealing His timing to us. Of course the journey to this point might ( and I stress the might) have been easier to know from the beginning, here is your wait time. We did not get any such E.T.A. We haven't done anything different. Any clique in regard to relaxing, being in the adoption process or other such urban legends do not apply. This is quite simply what God's plan is for us. We are in no way experts in how to 'get this to work'. His will, plan and timing are played out differently in each situation. We also do not loose the perspective from the last 3 years either.

The division that seems to exist like an invisible line between being a parent and not has long been and still continues to be mystifying to me. Not only has there been shock as the news has been settling in for us but also fear. Fear of somehow undoing this, of yet another disappointment. Miscarriages are in my family and I do have several higher risk issues. My age, how long it took us to get pregnant, as well as my auto immune condition are all in God's hands. We pray frequently not to live in that fear. Satan will not steal this experience that we thought was lost from us. God made this baby start to grow and only God knows the future. We do trust all the unknown to our known loving God.

This process can be like planning a wedding, overshadowing the rest of your life for a time. No, I will not complain in regard to the feelings of discomfort that have already begun. We did pray for this step of the journey emotionally and physically. If you want to know the symptoms I'm experiencing, I'll be glad to share. Doing so here with out the benefit of tone of voice can be too easily misconstrued as complaining. One of the things I've wanted most of all in sharing our news was to show respect for other much cared for friends whom I know very well where they are at emotionally. They announced last week in church about several births and there was still a twinge knowing our news. That awareness doesn't go away for me with one test result.

We ask for prayers for the health and growth of this baby. Thank you for being part of our journey the last 3 years and onward. We also ask for prayers for those still waiting not knowing what God's plan is for them. We have made amazing friends in the last three years and know this news will affect them. It's still early and anything could happen, but the doctor says we are due November 3, 2009.